The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: In and Out (04/30/09)
It seemed to me that if I wasn’t going out the door of my doctors office, I was going in. I wish I hadn’t moved across town now, having to take the subway wasn’t my favorite pastime, but I wasn‘t going to change doctors at this stage of the game. Public transit was slow, but it did give me time to gather my thoughts and consider what was really important in this short life. All these doctor appointments, all this in and out of his office for tests, no doubt brought to mind my mother. Seems like so many years ago. What am I saying? It actually was so many years ago. I was just a child, and so self centered, four I think. I’m doing it again, I don’t have to think, I know I was four, there is no mistaking that, almost Twenty years ago.

Despite the fact that Mom and Dad explained it all to me quite clearly, it never really sunk in. I was much to young to understand, all I cared about was me. All I knew was mom wasn’t feeling well a lot, I knew she had to lie down most of the day, and she couldn’t pick me up. I knew she had swelling, I knew I was left with a baby sitter I never liked, every time Dad took her to the doctor. What I didn’t know and couldn’t comprehend, is why. I remember praying, but I don’t remember answers.

Now I’m having the same troubles that my mother had. The doctor told me times have changed though, medications are much better, diagnostics have improved greatly, and if I may quote him, “we just know more.” All very reassuring. Still, there is some queasiness and I have to rest more than normal, just like my momma did, and I can’t lift any thing to heavy, same thing my momma went through, and of course it goes without saying, there will be some swelling, just like my mommas. But doctor said, “don’t worry, you’ll make it through, just like your momma did.” After all he was mom’s doctor too.

That reminds me, I should call her as soon as I get home. Her and sis will be wondering what took me so long. I just had to stop for that pickles and cherry ice cream, there is no denying these cravings you get. Babies doing well though, doctor said even though I have trouble carrying her, if I take care, I and little Sue will be just fine.

Yea, I named her after my baby sister. Don’t tell Susan just yet, she’s going to graduate from college around the same time little Sue is born, and it’s my gift to her. I think it’s the least I could do, after all, I was so mad at her for those nine months she was inside my mommy’s Tummy making her sick. And I guess the other reason is. Do you remember that prayer I said I didn’t get an answer to? Well my sister was the answer, and the little Sue inside me, is another answer, to a whole lot of prayer.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 1138 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Janice Fitzpatrick
05/07/09
This is tender and I like the little suprise near the ending. At first I thought the mother was sick with an illness, but nothing that nine months won't cure.:0) Nice job. Other than shortening the paragraphs a bit this is a good read.:0) Cute!!
Glenda Lagerstedt
05/07/09
Good job of keeping the reader involved and in the dark until the end.
Beth B
05/07/09
Waht a cute story! Thought it might have a sad ending until I read about "stopping for pickles and cherry ice cream." I won't let Susan know about the surprise. haha
Carolyn Summerset
05/08/09
The ending was such a relief! I got to the pickles and ice cream and simply knew! Beautiful story! Best Wishes with Baby Susan! :)
Faithful Okoye 
05/09/09
oowuh. I totally thought it was an ailment, sickeness. You numbed me on a surprise when you said, "oh i should be calling her now" (or something like that) I had thought her mom was dead. It felt like a miracle.
Thanks for that surprise.
Jan Ackerson
05/10/09
Charming little story.

Watch out for using 'to' instead of 'too', and for those pesky comma splices.

Loved the bit with the pickles and cherry ice cream.
Karlene Jacobsen 
05/10/09
As stated already, I thought Mom had an ailment or something; at least until you interjected that Mom said it'll be ok and then the pickles and icecream. I don't know about anyone else, but you've GOT to be pregnant to want to mix those; Yukk. LOL.