Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Charade (08/14/08)
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TITLE: I Wonder | Previous Challenge Entry
By Jean C Prentice
08/18/08 -
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The branches hanging low.
To provide it capacious.
To what is down below.
I dare not go to close.
I stand away from there.
For the entire world will see.
Whether it is he or she.
The others all around there.
Were all eager for to see.
But no one came to close.
For only one would share.
There world is hushed in silence.
No one is allowed to sing.
Each one aware of miracles.
That once behooved a king.
I think of all the whispers.
I think of days gone by.
I think of stories told.
They almost made me cry.
I think of when a child.
I banged upon a drum.
While others shouted stop.
Before your hand goes numb...
The flowers wouldn’t bloom.
The apples would not appear.
If nature changed its course.
And bees’ did not come here.
Bambi is the answer.
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A note on punctuation of rhymed poetry: you don't need a period at the end of every line. Punctuate it as you would a sentence.
I'm not clear on the meaning of the "Bambi" at the end.
A poem with lots of potential--keep writing, writing, writing!
Though I feel you have good form and rhythm, you might want to try to clarify things just a little bit. I look forward reading more of your work.