Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Desire (01/17/05)
-
TITLE: Full of Love | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tammie Smith
01/24/05 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
“Ahh, look a new baby,” I said dreamily.
“Do you really want another baby?” my friend asked.
I sipped some more of my coffee and thought on this matter. 'Did I really want another baby?' I have a 6 year old daughter and a three year old son. My daughter is becoming quite a smart mouth little drama queen. Could I handle another one like her? Then, of course, there is my blond haired baby, he is such a sweet little mommy's monster. Just yesterday, he decided to remodel the kitchen with chocolate powder. He decided it looked better than my newly mopped floor did. Do I really want to repeat the toddler years?
Looking at the newborn baby, I said “yes, it is my desire to have another baby. I can't stand the fact that my children are growing up,”
Sheila laughed and said “they have to grow up one day.”
“Yes, I know but do they have to do it today?”
After we finished our coffees we left with a promise to meet again and chat next week.
I just couldn't get the image of the newborn baby out of my mind.
“Honey,” I said after the dinner dishes were done. “can we talk?”
Taking a deep breath, I said “Honey, I love you and our family, but I just don't feel complete. I desire to have another baby. I feel that this will complete me and then we can be happy.”
He looked at me with this kind of hurtful look and replied “I am happy and I don't want another baby. Why do you need another one to make you happy. You can't be happy with just me and the two babies we already have?”
I stared at him for a few long seconds, “I don't mean that I am unhappy with you guys, but I want more. Don't you ever just want more?”
“Yes dear, but I have learned to be content where I am.”
I said, “I think I should go to bed before I say something we both regret. Good night honey, I love you.”
I snuggle into bed with my bible to do my nightly reading. I close my eyes and open my heart to God. Right there I poured out my heart to Him. I told Him how much I desired a new baby. I loved the ones I had but I still had all this love to pour out. I thought He should change my husbands heart.
I laid my bible aside unopened, I didn't have the energy or strength to open it.
The next morning, I asked my husband if we could talk.
He looked at me and said “Have you ever thought that God gives us everything we need. He has given us the opportunities to have the life that He wants for us. I believe that the Devil gives us desires for the things that God doesn't have planned for us. It is the Devil's way of causing strife and uproars in our lives. Don't let the devil use you in this way. I suggest you really pray to God and then really sit back and listen. If it is His will for you to have another child then He will give you another one. I think you need to look deep into your heart and search out what it is that you are really unhappy about. Then you need to ask God to help you in this area and to heal you.”
Smiling through my tears, I said I really need to think about this.
Later that evening, I told him “ Honey, thank you for your words this morning. I do love you and our children. I just feel like that I have a lot of love to give. I have been a nd will continue to pray that God helps me through this. I know that if He wants me to have another child then I will. For the time being, I will make sure that the two children I do have know that I love them completely. There are many things I can do around the house for them and you. I don't' need another child to pour out all love too. I have you three.”
With a hug, he said “I love you honey.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.