Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Father (as in paternal parent, not God) (04/10/08)
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TITLE: What is a father? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Davita Freeman
04/12/08 -
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The girl fingered the worn picture in her hand but refused to look at it. Eighteen years of pretending he didn’t exist and insisting she didn’t need or want to know him now shook within her, on the verge of collapsing, because of one stupid picture.
A picture providing a face for the faceless, a name for the unknown. Providing a father?
The girl shook her head, blinking against the breeze, or were those tears? A picture couldn’t provide a father, but it could show what she’d been missing.
A high pitched giggle broke into the girl’s reverie. A little girl, no more than five or six, ran across the green grass of the small park, her dark pig tails flying around her face. Behind her a man followed, a man with the same eyes and nose as the child.
He laughed as she ran. “I’m going to get you and tickle you to death, Lily.”
The little girl shrieked again as she ran up the small hill in the middle of the park. Suddenly she stumbled and rolled across the grass. Laughter died on her face as she started to cry. The man hurried forward and pulled her close as he investigated her torn jeans. With several hiccups the little girl wrapped her arms around the man’s neck and he carried her out of sight.
The girl glanced down at the worn picture, trying to swallow the lump filling her throat. She could never know what the child knew.
But she didn’t want that. She’s always told her friends she never missed having a father, after all who wants some man hanging around the house to judge and control, or pretend he cared when he really wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else.
She stared in the direction where the father and his young daughter disappeared, the wall around her heart cracking, just a little.
Did she really not miss having a father around to comfort her when nightmares stole her sleep? Or someone to scrutinize every boy who showed interest, certain they weren’t good enough for his little girl? Would she really not mind walking down the aisle someday alone?
But it was too late. Her chance for a father had passed. He made that decision and never looked back. And now, she could only go forward with a vow. A vow that her daughter would have a father, a good father. A father who would tackle the monsters that invaded the little girl’s room. A father who would sit back confused at the emotional outburst of his teenager, but still be there when she needed to cry on his shoulder. A father who desperately wanted the best for his daughter. And a father who would cry when he walked her down the aisle, giving her to another man who would promise to love and protect her.
She stuck the photo into her pocket as she stood up. Eighteen years she’d pretended fathers were useless and unwanted, a waste of space. But she couldn’t play that game anymore. Her father walked away, but some fathers staid. She would find a man who would stay, who would love. She would find a man who would be a father.
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A couple of spelling and punctuation problems, but otherwise, very well done; keep honing your skills.