The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1208 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/17/08
This was well written. I liked it! It was a sweet story of a new father. The prayer was beautiful. Every body needs the Lord's guidance, especially in times like that.
04/18/08
I liked this a lot - some very good details that helped me see what he was feeling throughout.

There were a few places where you changed the tenses of your verb from present to past - easy to do, and to fix.

Great title too. Enjoyed this!
Ahhh, the excitement of being a brand new parent. This is good.
04/19/08
Thank you for sharing a glimpse into a very intimate story. There are many things going on in the world today. And it can be scary to think about raising children, but as the Gaither's so eloquently put it,"this child can face uncertain days because he lives."
Your writing draws the reader through. I kept thinking about how my husband would react when our "someday" becomes a reality. Also, the use of Mary and Joe reminded me of another couple who found out they were going to be parents, and had to trust God to help them. Imagine being entrusted by God to raise Jesus!
Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.
Lovely story about a first time father (not forgetting the mother of course). I loved the way you built his excitement, then brought him down to earth not with a thud, but a gentle nudge. If only more fathers would have the same attitude as Joe. Very nice prayer.

A couple of tiny glitches where you changed tense, but that's why this is called a 'challenge', you write, you learn, you progress.

Well done indeed.
04/22/08
Your story is well told, and the ending is excellent, leaving the guidance in God's hands. ... One point, given also by another viewer, check to make sure your tenses are the same all the way through. I like that you told most of the story in the present tense. Check this out and see if you can fix this when you edit. I know you can, as you progress in your writing skills...God bless you...Helen
You did a good job of capturing what most future daddies feel when they are trying to absorb the big news. I like your writing.