Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Bush” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/10/08)
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TITLE: Dead Gold | Previous Challenge Entry
By Grace .
01/16/08 -
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I felt the ground shake as the gold hit the earth. “No!” I screamed. “Leave it! You already have some! Get out!” I tried to convince him. It wasn’t safe. The cave was being evacuated. Most of the gold was gone anyway. The guards were dragging away any stragglers.
This gold mine belonged to a rich man who hired us to dig the gold for him, and in return he would pay us a small fee. But now his mine had run dry.
The cool, damp earth between my toes turned to dead grass as I ran to the cave. I had to find him before something happened. Before the weak roof collapsed. Before the floor caved in.
The hot air around me turned cold as I ran farther and farther into the cave. Somehow he had found out about the large pile of loose gold. Gold. That terrible word will lead him, and me, to our deaths. I couldn’t believe I was doing this, but he is my friend. He had always talked about somehow getting his own gold; now he is doing it.
I called his name again and again. There was never an answer. The world around me was quiet. Deathly quiet. The air grew close as I ran deeper into the cave.
Something cracked. Dirt fell from the ceiling. Panic bubbled in my chest. This was surly my end. The floor caved; I stumbled. Pain flew from my ankle up my leg. Blood spilled from my head as I crashed into the wall.
“Yes!” Someone called from a head. “It’s mine! All mine!” I staggered to my feet. I found my friend. “Hey! There you are!” My friend looked as if nothing was happening around him.
“Come on!” I screamed at him. “In case you haven’t noticed the cave is collapsing! Leave the gold and lets get out!” I couldn’t believe he could sit there in his pile of gold like a baby in a pile of his favorite toys.
“No.” He said, an unusually calm tone in his voice. “I am happy now. The gold I had before I entered this cave is nothing compared to this. Now help me get it out of here.”
“Alright. But we must hurry.” I started to scoop small chunks of gold into my pockets. My shoulders drooped as I realized it would be so difficult to run with all this gold. Reluctantly, I stuck a last handful into my last open pocket. “Come on! We can’t carry any more. You already have more then you did outside. My pockets are full, and with this much gold it will be difficult to run. Not counting the twisted ankle I received while trying to find you.”
“No. There are only a few more handfuls left.” Debris fell from the roof right behind my friend. “Fine. Lets go.”
I stood up. White hot pain made me gasp. But I didn’t have to worry about my ankle long. Before I could take a step the roof fell on us.
My grimy fingers clawed at the dirt. I couldn’t breathe. Dirt filled my lungs every time I took a breath. My body became overwhelmed with panic. I clawed and kicked desperately. The world began to spin around me. Then, everything went black.
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One little to think about when speaking in the first person is how they managed to tell their story- particularly if you left them in mortal danger. I would be looking forward to chapter 2. Do write on!
I like your title.
You created some very good descriptions. I was a little confused about the line about the damp dirt turning to dry grass, as he ran into the cave.
Good writing...keep it up.