Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of “A Stitch in Time Saves Nine” (without using the actual phrase or literal example). (01/03/08)
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TITLE: What Oil Light? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Michelle Roufley
01/03/08 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Oh gee why must I commute so far
Get in kids and shut the door
Push the pedal to the floor
The oil light is shining at me
I don’t have time to check it you see
One child this way the other one that
The hubbys lunch and to vet the cat.
Then for me to work I go
Of course the traffic is way to slow
I take the exit to the interstate
Four lanes of traffic and I am late
Soon I hear a tick-tick-ticking
I pretend I don’t but who am I kidding
The tick turns to a rat-a-tat-tat
What on earth makes a sound like that
Steam’s now flowing from under the hood
Oh my I cried this can’t be good
I veer the car to the highway’s side
Who could I trust to hitch a ride
The cars zing by as if I weren’t there
As if no one on Earth could care
I was down and so alone
Then prayed that I had my cell phone.
I call my hubby at his work
feeling like such a jerk
He’s told me before when the light comes on
The oil is usually way past gone.
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Good job with the poem, but you need to punctuate it.
(PM me if you want help)
Keep writing.
"The tick turns to a rat-a-tat-tat
What on earth makes a sound like that"
I really liked this line! I can so relate.
I think this poem would be much easier to read if you added more punctuation - let me know if I can help in any way!