The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
12/16/07
Enjoyed the conversational tone of this (though there were a couple places where it felt a bit TOO familiar - just my opinion, though). My absolute favorite sentence was: Boy have we got some dry-cleaning and ironing to do because the last time I looked in the mirror there sure were a lot of “spots and wrinkles”. Keep writing!
12/17/07
I like the casual voice here.

You could probably tighten it up by eliminating some of the first paragraph, and then make it easier to folow by breaking the longer paragraphs into smaller, more digestible bites.

The illustrations are apt and this was interesting to read.
12/17/07
A lot of thought went into this. I suggest you focus on one point. Also, avoid cliches. "it never ceases to amaze me".
Keep writing.
Great essay on the Church - I like your voice, your entry flows nicely. This would be good for a new believer or a person unfamiliar with the concept of Church with a capital C. Keep writing - Good Job! :) Cat
I like this one - it is descriptive, but with a casual voice that is easy to understand. Keep up the good work!