The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/27/07
This was really good. I loved how real Emily (right? I have short term memory problems sometimes. lol)

The only suggestion I would make is to get rid of the word "seem" that second time. The first time, it's appropriate. The service probably really didn't end early. It just seemed to. But I'd say she really WAS a bit disappointed.

Again, great story. Keep writing!
10/30/07
You describe very clearly the different stages of sitting in sin through salvation. A very nice story.