To go or not to go? | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: To go or not to go? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Katherine Seat
09/15/07
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It was a “panicfest”, both the events unfolding around me and the conflicts in me.

I had only arrived in my new country a few months ago. I was just getting to get in the swing of things when everything became even more strange and unpredictable.

A strange new disease had been spreading. Many people were sick and some had died. Shops began shutting, foreigners began leaving, people began wearing surgical masks. There was talk of “martial law”, some advised stocking up on food.

Travelling and mixing with people was risky. This meant some students couldn’t come to class, while for others it meant they couldn’t go home. For a week I was quarantined at home due to having come in contact with a suspected patient of The Disease. I had to regularly take my temperature. I was to have no contact with others. I heard a knock on the door. I opened it to see the shopping I had ordered on the ground, while a masked man quickly made his exit, so as not to infect himself.

As I watched people leaving and activities grinding to a halt I wondered what I should do. To go or not to go? I had an evacuation bag packed, in case I suddenly had to go as the others did. But at the same time I had bought a huge bag of rice, lots of packet food and internet cards, in case I had to stay in.

I spent all day reading news websites and medical websites. The more I read the more confused I became. There was so much information, sometimes conflicting. And no knew what would happen next, the events so far had been unpredictable.

I emailed friends back home, I talked to both local people and other foreigners around me. Some people told me I should go, I should get out to safety, there was no point me risking my life. Get on a plane now. Others said I should stay, safer not to travel. People in both camps were very adamant. Who should I listen to?

There were so many rumours flying around, it was hard to know what was really happening. Many people were scared and the atmosphere was charged with a strange excitement, a negative one. Phone calls and emails were flying around updating everyone with the latest events. It was confusing, so many things seemed to be happening at once. Was the latest that our friend in hospital was clear of The Disease or not? Were the number of deaths in our city increasing or decreasing? Conflicting news was arriving from different sources at the same time.

Perhaps I should leave. Even if I got sick on the way out, at least I could reach a good hospital. People were saying there might not be enough respirators here, and medical evacuation might be hard if you need to be isolated. That was a scary thought.

But the thought of leaving my new home was also stressful. I had just moved here and set up my place and started getting to know people. Before I came I had got rid of my furniture, clothes, books and moved out of the apartment. I didn’t have a home or job to go back to- everything was here now.

But is that a good enough reason to stay if my life is in danger?

Round and round my thoughts went for four days, weighing up the pros and cons. Talking to anyone and everyone to ask their advice. Reading as much as I could. But still in a quandary, a very stressful one.

On the fifth day I stopped asking people and reading websites. I unplugged the computer and phone. I opened my Bible, read, prayed and waited.

It started almost at once. I felt calm, peaceful. I was relaxed and happy. I didn’t cry that day. My hysterical laughter turned into happy laughter. The chest pains of anxiety melted away. I felt my apartment that I was quarantined in was too small to contain the feeling.

It became clear I should stay. The calm continued all day and into the next and the next. It was such a contrast to the turbulence of the previous days. The city around me was still in a “panicfest” but I was calm.

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