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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Surprised (09/06/07)
“Antidote For Hate”

Her breath labored as I held back the tears of grief. Much too often I wished I would have said, “I love you.” The lump in my throat was too painful for swallowing. Justice reigned when her breathing ceased.

Abused and beaten for years, as a child I hated her. Despondent, I became obsessed with getting even. The thought of being almost eighteen gave me the inevitable hope of leaving home. Then, that day came.

My boyfriend walked me to my house after school. He knew this was the day I had been waiting for. Freedom, freedom finally from a woman, whose treachery of hate entrapped me for eighteen years just for being born was about to end. I walked up to the door of my house and knew she would probably be drunk, violent, or even worse. I didn’t care. Today was the day I longed for. I was leaving her forever.

As I put the key into the door I hesitated before opening it. It was just long enough to cast off the years of fear that she held over me. With little confidence, but great expectation, I flung open the door and stepped into the living room. She was not to be seen.

I wondered from room to room calling out her name. I climbed the staircase that led to the “off limits” area of the house, and boldly opened the door to her sacred bedroom.

The woman who kept me in daily horror lay on her bed barely breathing. A bottle held by its neck was poured out empty and soaked the bedclothes by her side. In the other hand was a letter tattered, and torn from use. I felt for a pulse. It was weak at best, and I am ashamed to say I felt little sympathy for her.

I took the letter from her hand and read it’s contents.

“Dear Anna, I know you may never believe this, but I love you. I know I never said it to you before, and you’ll never hear these words from my mouth, but it is true. You must hate me, and with good reason. I hated my mother for crimes against me as well. I’m not going to try and explain it, nor deny it. God have mercy on me for the evil that has befallen you. Signed, Mother.

The waves of emotions were relentless on the shores of my broken heart. And now, she will take my day of deliverance to her grave. How dare her!

Then, I broke.

God’s spirit within me granted me the courage I never have known before.

“Dear Lord, please give me the power of forgiveness. Help me to let go of this hate and dispassion within me. Take the bitterness, the pain, and the lack of understanding away. Free me, as I free her with the love that can only come from You. Forgive me, Lord for how I feel toward Anna. She may have been desperately wrong, but she was after all still my mother. Thank you, your daughter Kate.”
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Julie Arduini
09/15/07
This is amazing writing here. Compelling characters, heartbreaking story, a message of hope in the prayer. This is not beginners writing. Keep up the excellent work.
Laury Hubrich
09/15/07
This is a nice piece about the power of God to help us forgive.
Laury
Jan Ackerson
09/16/07
Great story--I wonder, is it true? Was she still alive? Was she ever aware of your forgiveness?

A few sentences might be rewritten for clarity, but in general this is a strong piece, and so true for too many young people. Thanks for sharing it!