The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/23/07
You used lovely words and the flow is so nice! IN the line about her being beautiful - you could drop that line and pick up with the one afterwards as you go one and describe her beauty there. Also - try adding abit more dialogue or scenes towards the end to show her thoughts rather than tell me them - like you did in the beginning more.
You write like a romance writer! I loved it!
The description of her looks was very good.