The Searching Heart | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Searching Heart | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joanna Jayaprakash
08/20/07
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“May I have the honour?” He smiled charmingly and led her by the hand to the dance floor. There was a sparkle in his eyes as he gazed into Angelia’s lovely marbles, refining every move and sway of the waltz. Every longing of her fairy tale dream seemed to be unfolding before her very eyes. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her, after years of vivid imagination despite her bitter childhood and many disappointments in life. She secretly wished the night would never end, to be lost forever in his sweet embrace.

Angelia was a very attractive young lady. Blessed with natural beauty: big, bright eyes and long eyelashes; thick locks of curls, that made her look stunning without needing to be combed; tanned skin, and an angelic face. She carried herself with grace, and her personality of quiet resilience was one of a kind. With intelligence, patience and humility beaded around her neck, she had a long string of suitors but none promising enough for a lifetime commitment. Her only flaw, it seemed to be, was her searching heart pursuing happiness without knowing where to end or start.

Everything seemed so right. They had a whole world in common: family background of priesthood, career, religion, interests, food preferences and the list could go on. In almost every conversation they had shared, he would not fail to reassure her of how much he loved her – that he was serious about courtship, if she would only give him a chance. With him around, she was on cloud nine. To her, he was more than just a face in the crowd.

She wondered if he were to be her knight in shining armor. However, far at the end of her mind, she doubted if this fantasy would last. Would it simply be history repeating itself to leave her feeling lost and hopeless? Or was it finally time to bring the ship into the shore and put away the oars? Angelia’s insecurity emerged every time he confessed his love. Thus, her troubled mind often placed an abrupt end to the pleasant feelings that rose to the skies.

As days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, the time to decide drew closer. The interested young man became more aggressive in his moves – demanding a quicker confirmation of love and marriage; planning her life ahead of her even in their brief acquaintance, to the point of becoming harassment. Again, uncertainty pervaded Angelia as she reminisced the good times they once shared together but dreaded the future risks of grave conflicts. Though rather quiet and agreeable by nature, Angelia’s spirit was not one to be controlled.

Somewhere during this time, she became acquainted with an older man who displayed much maturity and mutual respect. He possessed all the qualities of a capable husband and was in search for a bride. Upon her polite request for pure friendship, he respectfully kept his distance, understanding the time and space that she much needed. Nevertheless, the dilemma of Angelia’s heart grew from day to day, wondering if she had missed the right one along the way, or was about to board the wrong train. As Angelia contemplated her options and slowly began to surrender all to God in prayer, she suddenly felt a flame ignite within her soul. She recalled the reaction of the man who respected her enough to keep his distance, assertive enough to stand by his word and yet loyal enough to remain a friend.

As if time had stopped for a moment to show her the right path, Angelia felt enlightened to find self-worth in Christ, to experience contentment in who she was and what she had been given, and to be assertive and respected for it. She needed no man to still the raging tempest within her soul, not until the Lord said so – the King was already residing on His throne. She had been so confused, searching for far too long, but the answer was there all along…

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9 (New International Version)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3: 5-6 (New Living Translation)

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