as i pass | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: as i pass | Previous Challenge Entry
By Gena Killen
08/14/06
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Mine was lonely.

It was with purpose as most are but as I passed I didn’t see the purpose.

I felt the pain, I heard the cries, my own. But the purpose was beyond me as I passed.

I passed with my head down and my heart heavy, burdened with great sin and greater disappointment.

I passed with little hope of a brighter day. My eyes seldom ventured passed the ground in which I walked. Never seeing the tunnels of freedom around drenched in blessings of hope and forgiveness.

I passed with ideas of my own. Ideas of a better day founded on my system. A system not grounded in the foundation of true life. As I dreamed each idea seemed beautiful and easy and free. A path of less burden and grief. Often this was my friend. My escape from the loneliness I had created as I passed.

But the longer I passed my thoughts grew dim. I saw a flicker of light appear over the mountain in which I was so accustomed to seeing I hardly saw anymore. The mountain I had watched form and helped create.

The flicker would come and go. It would only appear when I had seemed to lose interest in my system. The flicker was mesmerizing. The longer my eyes searched for it’s light, the longer the flicker would stay. Until I realized one day my head had not been looking down.

I passed with my head up, searching now for this light of inspiration it had come to be. It was not only beautiful beyond my words but it filled my soul with hope far beyond the hope my plans had brought. It had become my destination as I passed.

I now pass with my eyes open towards the light. I feel the ground beneath my feet create an upward slant. I believe it’s taking me over the mountain. I no longer look down for long to see. My legs ache some days. But I don’t want to take my eyes off of this light to nurture myself. And my pains are only passing.

As I pass I notice the trees and smell the rain. I am wrapped in the beauty around me. Somehow I realize all these things I am amazed by were there before I saw the flicker. They didn’t make this much sense to me then. I feel thankful.

As I pass now I see...my passing has purpose. Just as God has said.

Isaiah 40:4, message
“Fill in the valleys,
level off the hills,
Smooth out the ruts,
clear out the rocks.
Then God's bright glory will shine
and everyone will see it.
Yes. Just as God has said."

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