The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 842 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/18/06
Reads like a sermon--good job.
08/19/06
Wonderful message well written - you paint some wonderful, vivid scenes. Very effective!
08/19/06
To me, the beginning of this piece had me bogged down in word images that were hard to follow. However, toward the end it seemed to me that you hit your stride and I began to understand clearly what you wanted to communicate. Phrases can be brilliant, but they must convey a deeper meaning. At first, I was lost, but, toward the end, I could see! Now, perhaps the fault was in me! Perhaps my intellectual powers are duller than they used to be. Toward the end you can see the sentences look more clear to the eye, and I found them more comprehendable as well. I think you're on to something grand! Keep it up!
I felt much the same as Marilee until the middle, when it started to come alive with understanding.
Keep sharing.