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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Life (06/15/06)

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• TITLE: Life and Death Matters ... | Previous Challenge Entry
  By
  06/19/06
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I've been pondering life and death matters this Father's Day.

My father died just after I turned 10. I remember thinking it was OK he had died since he was old. He had lived a good, long life! At 49, my perspective is different. At his death he was just 33.

Dad had acute asthma from childhood. About once a year he had a really bad spell. Late December '66 to early January '67 was his last. I remember paramedics coming to the house and taking him away in an ambulance. They pulled him from his bed, put him on a stretcher, lifted him over the bannister into the stairwell and carried him out of our home. He never came back. I didn't know it, of course, but my life had just changed.

A week later, mom, who spent all day, every day, at the hospital, was finally convinced by the staff to come home, relax and clean up. Dad was out of the woods and would come home the next day. Finally, life would get back to normal.

Relieved, mom left for home. When she walked in the door, the phone was ringing. It was the hospital - dad was dead. One lung collapsed and the other was too weak to keep him alive. Incredibly, my mom took me swimming with friends the next day as we had planned for weeks. Her husband’s death was personally painful. Though she would grieve her share, mom later said she could not forget that life goes on and she had children depending on her.

I remember very little about my dad. I know what he looked like from pictures. But I have few memories. Mom remarried a man who had never been married and had no children. My stepfather never treated me as anything but his own flesh and blood. While he is the man I remember as ‘Dad’, he never adopted me so I would pass my father's name to my children. I've been proud to do so as the circle of life has continued. I'm also proud my oldest son carries my stepfather's name as his middle name. I had dreamed for years of honoring him in that way since he poured his life into me.

With my dad, however, more pressing issues arose. Despite hearing the gospel many times, it was not until three years after my father died, that the gospel reality of new life in Christ transformed my home. My mom and stepdad, sister, grandmother and I all were born again. But what of my dad?

A family friend who loved Jesus with a passion was with dad when he died. But there was no indication he surrendered to Christ at any point, even on his deathbed. There was also no doubt he had heard and, at least intellectually, understood the gospel. So the question remained - where is my dad? I know we are all immortal. Everyone's life lasts forever - the only question is, as the t-shirt asks, "Smoking or non-Smoking?"

And Holy Spirit can be infuriating. I asked about my father for many years but He never responded. Finally, He simply said, "Son, I love your father more than you ever could! If there is any way possible for him to enjoy Eternal Life, here with Me, he will. And if he cannot, that decision will be just."

One of the most important life questions I have ever asked, while addressed, has still not been answered. Yet I am at peace. I know God’s character. He is filled with integrity and I trust He always has my best interests in mind. I’ve also learned He is a God of Life! So, while it is not the answer I expected, it is an answer I can live with.

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