Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Joy (05/18/06)
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TITLE: Surrender | Previous Challenge Entry
By Janelle Bailey
05/23/06 -
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I had mouthed the words along with everyone else, belting it out while all along knowing that I was one of the hypocrites.
Yet how could I not? How could I sing those words “All to Jesus I surrender” and actually mean them? The words alone made my heart twist in fear. Surrender all? What, and then watch while He stripped everything away, and then sent me off to Africa or some other death ridden place.
I moaned, and glared down at the river. “At least you don’t have to worry about obeying God,” I whinged to the tadpoles dodging around my feet. “All you have to do is eat and grow legs.”
From my perch by the river I could hear the other camp ladies laughing and chatting. Why weren’t they showing signs of the same turmoil that was shaking my heart? Some of them had sung with such abandon this morning. What did they know that I didn’t?
I tried to avoid the answer, even though it was literally jumping up and down and screaming at me to get my attention. I didn’t want to face it because I knew it meant that I would have to do what they had done. Sing that song. Mean that song. God had me backed up against a wall. Like prey trapped in a cage, He left me nowhere else to turn.
In soft quivering tones I began to sing the words I had dreaded for so long.
“All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust him
In His presence daily live”
As I sang something surprising washed through me, crisp and clean like the stream at my feet. Joy, much longed for joy, infused my soul in an unexpected wash. The Great Pursuer had caught me at last.
*“I Surrender All”, J.W. Van Deventer (1855-1939)
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