Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Joy (05/18/06)
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TITLE: Joy in God's Presence | Previous Challenge Entry
By Amy Puckett
05/22/06 -
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I first experienced the joy of God during a prayer, a prayer in which I cried out to God for mercy, forgiveness, and healing. During the previous several months of my life I had learned what it meant to be broken. After clinging to an adulterous husband for years, he finally left me embarrassed, humiliated, and most of all, alone. In a last ditch attempt to show him how devoted to him I was, I signed over custody of our children to him. As soon as I did, of course, he cut off any contact I had with them. I was too weak and broken to fight him. A few days later I became very ill. I was five-hundred miles away from any family or friends, devastated emotionally, and sick as I had ever been in my life.
When I was finally able to get out of bed, I got on a plane and went to stay with my mom where I was able to begin to heal. While my mom took care of my physical needs, I was able to let God meet my spiritual needs. I had always considered myself a Christian because I went to church when I was a kid, but I had never given my life to God and accepted the gift of salvation that we were given by Jesus’ death. One day, as I prayed, begging God for help, any kind of help, I began to feel the presence of God. I mean the actual, physical presence of God. It was as if my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I had never felt such joy in my life. This was the kind of joy where you feel like you have to jump around and wave your hands in the air. Real, lasting joy!
I remember over the next several weeks and months I was afraid that this joy would go away. I worried that this was just a “honeymoon” phase. To my continued astonishment and relief, this was not the case. I still experience this fantastic, life-changing joy from God. No matter what I’m going through (and let me tell you, if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m in the running for Mrs. Olympia), I can always experience unbelievable joy by returning to the feet of our creator. Sometimes I forget and lose sight of what we were given by the death of our Savior, but thankfully, blessedly, I am always reminded.
Years after this initial encounter with the Holy Spirit, on the day I gave birth to my youngest child I received news that my temporary custody order from my state had been overruled by the state where my ex-husband lived, and my two oldest daughters must be returned to their father. My attorney advised me that failing to comply would result in the court looking on me with disfavor at best, and permanently losing any contact with my daughters at worst. With tremendous sorrow, I complied.
A few days after I received this devastating blow, a dear friend came to visit. She had lost her son in a car accident just a year earlier. In her comforting voice she reminded me of something I had forgotten. My joy did not come from my children. It did not come from my family, my husband, my success as a mother or what people thought of me. Instead, she reminded me, my joy comes from God.
My life has changed so much now. While every experience is not full of bliss, I am able to find joy in my life. My home is once again filled with the sounds of family, and I have a wonderful husband who has helped me understand what love is and realize it’s possible to have that fairy-tale romance. But most of all, I know that none of these things brings joy. Only God can do that.
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