The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 758 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/21/06
Because of your rhyming verses, I am drawing the conclusion this is not "free verse." So, my suggestion is to count out your syllables, as your meter/rhythm is a bit ragged.

Perhaps your opening lines would be a good pattern to follow throughout your poem.
"Worldly riches I have none,(7 syllables)
But I am rich; I belong to God’s Son." (10 syllables)

Those lines have a nice lilt to them; they are complete sentences rather than sentence fragments, also good. You're on the right track! God bless your writing!
05/22/06
Good strong message comes through with this poem. In addition to the comments above, I'd just like to remind yu that if you split a sentence across two lines, you probably don't want a comma at the end of the first line. e.g. 'Worldly riches, I have none, but I am,/ So free' - you don't need the comma after 'am'. Hope that makes sense. Real potential here. Keep going!
I agree with the other two comments. Nice job.