The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/21/06
Some nice word-play here - especially in the first few lines. Watch one or two typos - 'bare' for 'bear', 'Lords' for 'Lord's ', but other than that, a good little poem.
Good poem, good prayer. Something that I know I can relate to.
05/23/06
I was a bit confused by the switch from "her" to "you" toward the end of the poem. Very strong message; thank you.
This is a creative play on words. Your rhyming is good but watch your rythem. I really enjoyed it.