The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
There is a sweet story, here, and interesting conversation that moves the reader along. You have the creative touch(Step 1). What is needed is something to better distinguish who is doing the talking. As it is, I find it confusing.
So, Step 2, the drudgery of editing, might be helped by having a friend read--and highlight--where clarity is needed. Keep writing, and don't neglect the editing :)
You have a very interesting style of writing, and I can't make up my mind about it. Some of it is brilliant, and some of it is a bit too oblique, I think. If you can harness your talent for words, you'll do exceptionally well. I hope that doens't sound too negative, becasue it's not intended to be. Keep your creativity flowing, and as Edy says, edit, edit, edit!