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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)
First, let's believe and understand, that with depth greater than the deepest ocean, and stronger than the highest mountain, God absolutely, definitively longs for our marriages to be whole, complete, close and intimate. The hope that has drawn you to this article is confirmation enough, that restoration of intimacy and closeness is still within reach.

A question stands out for us to address for those, Christian or not, who are having a hard time in their marriage: "Will God Fix My Marriage?" He's all-powerful, He's all-knowing, and He's all-present, but does He, yeah, WILL He, "fix" our broken marriages?

Here's a straight-to-the-heart saying: Once you have fasted, once you have prayed, once you have sought God with tears, get up and do what God has already empowered you to do, even before you prayed: take responsibility for your actions, and don’t put it on God.

We have been "hoodwinked" by many leaders in our Christian traditions, into thinking that God will somehow miraculously swoop from the heavens, change and re-arrange our partner, and make it alright.

Unfortunately, it's rare that someone like myself will come along to lovingly shatter that theology, and proclaim the hard, yet powerful truth along with the principal of Jesus: The kingdom of God, or the life of a happy marriage, is within YOU.

It boils down to understanding and learning your partner, AND yourself.

For example, your spiritual ambitions do not meet your spouse’s physical needs. And where there is unmet needs within the marriage, there is hurt and a building of walls to distance from further hurting. This is a very common cycle within hurting marriages.

Don’t get me wrong, prayer always helps, and God is Master of all. But He does not overtake your own will, and there is a reason He is the One to put the big, grey matter between our ears. To learn. To learn how to communicate, to love, to meet our spouses needs, etc. A good relationship does not fall from heaven like manna; it comes from the hands of a loving spouse, and the heart of a learned companion.

We must break the mentality, that we "have" to rely on God to fix the marriage, especially your spouse. This is our very own responsibility as marriage partners, and even more than that, it is our "privilege".

Once we start to "study" our partners more, we will find that God never intended to step into the scene. Why? Can't God do anything? You ask. Of course. But He wants YOU to get the sweet taste of victory!

Without a battle, there is no victory! And without learning in the trenches, how to love your partner, and resolve everyday issues, the victory is left floating in the air, just a breath away, yet out of reach.

Husband? Wife? Step up to the plate! You're up to bat! Yes, your marriage is in trouble: 2 outs, bases loaded, bottom of the 9th inning. You grip the hard wood bat, and swing it back and forth. Every eye is on you. Your neighbors; your family; your coworkers. The crowd stills in silence as you bring the tool, the bat, to your shoulder. You're nervous. A littel insecure and afraid. You think to yourself nervously, "Can I really do this? Can I really learn to have a better marriage?" The pitcher throws the ball as it heads right your way!Any moment, the ball will either whiz by, or be smacked into outer space, what do you do? Do your thing! God is cheering for you and your spouse. He's big enough to root both both teams! There is hope enough for both of you, because, well, that's what both of you need.
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This article has been read 803 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Debbie OConnor
05/13/06
I admire your courage and think you make some good points with this article. However, when I was married, my pastor wisely admonished my husband and me that it takes three to make a marriage. Me, my husband and God. God is certainly for strong marriages and will always be working on the behalf of struggling couples who seek Him. Both the husband and wife must be willing to work with God to accomplish a good marriage. If either spouse is unwilling or unable, the marriage will not work--apart from miraculous intervention by God to change the heart of the unwilling spouse.

While the writing here is pretty good, I think the message needs more balance. This article has the potential to hurt those who are suffering from the consequences of choices made by others. No matter how good a spouse you are, you cannot force your spouse to return your love and kindness.

Keep writing!
Crista Darr
05/13/06
You write with conviction and I admire that, but don't take God out of your ballgame. Sometimes we can make even our faith an idol. Remember Abigail. She is the perfect picture of godly wisdom and grace, but her husband still did not repent.
Helen Paynter
05/15/06
Interesting piece. I think the metaphor at the end was a little distracting rather than adding to the helpfulness. Has stirred up some commetn - which is good.
Edy T Johnson
05/16/06
You are a very able writer. Your message might better reach your reader's heart if it were couched in a parable/story. Truth to tell, our relationship with God is personal. God deals with me, and He deals with my spouse. We don't change each other. But, as each of us draws nearer to God, we are "automatically" drawing closer to each other. If one spouse is running away from God, the other spouse can only trust that God is at work in spite of appearances to the contrary. Just some ideas for consideration.