Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Inner Strength (04/20/06)
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TITLE: Billy loves Lena | Previous Challenge Entry
By william seitz
04/24/06 -
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Her fragrance surrounds the young man as she puts her delicate arms around him, it still doesn’t seem real.
Time started again and the crazy driver sped the two through the streets of Moscow, within walking distance of stairs leading underground. The same suitcase that traipsed through the snow over a year ago, now hammered down every step to the metro entrance. Like a strange scene out of some Russian spy movie, they boarded the train and moved like a bullet, four stories underground. Silent apathy seemed to be the norm. The lights flickered and metal sang a disgruntled song.
Quickly checked in at the hotel, the two left the building. There was so much they had talked about and even wrestled with that it now seemed awkward. They just had to keep moving. Knowing the area well, she led them to a small lake, a place her friend had told her about.
The narrowest section divided the water into two parts where a white bridge beckoned them to the other side. A few people were sitting on the shore fishing while others were keeping a jovial conversation about the ways of the world, all still a foreign language to the young man. To the left was an open view of more city life surrounding the small lake with rolling grassy hills. To the right was a smaller, quieter part of the water void of people. The coolness of the air was refreshing and a few clouds kept the light from being overbearing. They were drawn to the right by the solitude and the grandeur of the birch trees. The voices faded as they went further down the trail wrapping around the waters edge.
Over a year and a half they had talked, sometimes as friends, sometimes as two that would be no more. So many ideas needed to be resolved; there is always a right person and a wrong person. In the end, love seemed not to care who that was. The next step for them was not unknown, only unspoken.
She was full of anxieties and her friends didn’t quench that. No matter how many times she tried to convince them that she didn’t know what would happen when he came to see her, she couldn’t convince her desires to be unmindful of the natural progression of a God honoring relationship. After all, they had talked about it. For now, enjoying the walk and spending time together was consuming enough.
A greater force, a loving Spirit, had brought them to this place. Like chess pieces that knew what move should come next, yet left to there own abilities would remain where they stand. A gentle breeze traveled the air and all the leaves clapped quietly, ready for the next scene. Even the birds held their tongue as the world anticipated something great.
The velvet box spins in his pocket. All of his romantic plans and special words fall away. He feels like he is sitting in front of a piano playing itself, a song far too beautiful and complicated for him to master. He stops walking and so does she, turning toward him in time to see him fall to his knees. He opens the box to reveal a diamond ring, whose life was as an orphan, through the ups and downs of their relationship.
Time stops. Everything that matters in life or is worth thinking about melts away. The coolness of the wet ground spreads to his whole body. Looking up at her, he’s held captivate. With deliberate words, with one question, he lays down his life. She responds with unsure thoughts that steal forever twice and end with a joyful yes. Gently sliding the ring onto her finger, life starts again.
The birds sang a long awaited love song and the trees applauded in overwhelming approval. The smiling future raptured the two young lovers onto eternal promises of ecstasy.
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But, you have an excellent gift for language. The last half of your story is excellent.
The first half was harder to get through. But, powerful stuff, nevertheless.