How are you fulfilled? | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: How are you fulfilled? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Courtney Hoffman
04/08/06
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As one looks back on life, it is easy to see patterns and behaviors that developed at a young age. I know that is true for me. I am number 4 in a middle-American family. We were very involved in our church and all of my siblings and became believers at a young age. My brothers were all much older, so most of my memories are with my sister, who is three years younger than me. I was a tall, lanky, freckle-faced red head. Most of my friends were boys; however, when it came time for dates and banquets, I was the one who gave advice and not the one who went on the dates. On the contrary, my sister was tall, thin, and a dark brunette with a sweet personality. Boys were lined up to ask her out. She had just as many girlfriends and was easily a class favorite.
The pattern was the same with the girls. I was always in everyone’s circle, but when it came time to go out with your “best friend”, I was always the one left by myself. I never had one person who was that special friend. After the same pattern year after year, through high school and college, I began to wonder what was wrong with me. I started turning to whatever boyfriend would give me attention. I was never single. My parents tried to council me to be happy on my own, but their words fell on deaf ears.
My junior year of college, I went to work at a Christian camp in Pennsylvania. Within the first week of being at camp, I found my dream man. The sparks flew, and soon I was taking him home to meet the family. My parents loved him. He was kind, generous, handsome, and most importantly a Godly young man who obviously put Christ first. We married after my senior year of college, and within 18 months we had our first precious child. In spite of all these blessings, my life was not fulfilled. No matter what events were happening in my life, I was not happy. I was constantly comparing my life with those around me. I was always wanting a little more, or a little different than what I had.
Then things slowly started to fall apart. My beloved Grandmother passed. My dearest friend on earth re-located with her husband leaving a huge hole in my life. I became disillusioned with the administration at our church. Things were crashing down.
Then all at once it hit me. I had never really felt fulfilled in my entire life. I had looked to people and things to fill the spot that should have been consumed by my Lord and Savior. As a 32-year-old Christian, I had never read through the Bible. As I looked around, the people who were the most happy were not those with lots of money, or great fame. Those people were consumed by a Savior who was always a best friend, who surpassed any boyfriend, and who completed any person who let Him.
So over the past year I have learned a valuable lesson. True fulfillment can only come from the Lord. Happiness is only as deep as our relationship with Christ. Best of all, I have started feeling fulfilled for the first time in my life. Now I can only hope that as my children look back on my example, they will see patterns and behaviors that they will want in their own lives. Only then will they experience true fulfillment.

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