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Topic: Help (02/20/06)
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TITLE: Help is on the Way (ii) | Previous Challenge Entry
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02/24/06 -
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I wasn't sure at first what I was hearding. I was tired and angry and sick of being disappointed. "It's another false pregnancy," I heard the GYN say as I lay on the examination table cold and disgusted. How I was going to tell my husband the bad news again was all I could think about.
I left the GYN office without a thought of returning. I had it with trying to be a parent. It wasn't God's plan everyone said. "How came it was His plan when it came to them though?" I hated everyone's expert opinion on life. Why they thought remarks of that caliber are comforting to a suffering soul - I'll never know.
I had been driving for hours, trying to get lost in myself and at the same time figure out a way to face my husband. I came upon the old Canyon Road outside of town. This was Kansas farmland - nothing but animals and greenery for miles around. As I turned the corner to enter the local filling station, I heard a haunting cry. It sounded like it came from a baby. I rushed out of the car and lept toward the sound of the cry. As I edged closer to a patch of meadow behind a barked wired fence the cries became louding and more haunting. Then I saw it - a child, an innocent little newborn babe wrapped in a brown paper bag. I called out into the open lonely space, "Who in God's goodness would dump a baby?"
I picked it up. It reeked of dirty soiled diaper. I had visited the baby store earlier in the day to pick up diapers and baby clothes for the supposed child I would be delivering in seven months. I took the poor little thing in my arms and told her not to cry, help was on the way.
It was a girl. A beautiful blue eyed girl. My first child lived two weeks after birth and it was a girl. I wanted this child, but I knew she wasn't mine to keep. As I drove down the highway to the authorities I cried out loud. "God, how can you give a child to a person who would do this horrid thing? I knew the answer, it wasn't for me to judge the actions of another. Maybe she was a lonely frightened child herself.
When I pulled into the police station, my first instinct was to turn around and took the precious bundle home with me, but I knew that would be wrong. So I left the station that day childless again. Weeks passed and baby girl Doe's parents were not found. She was put up for foster care. I begged my husband to come to the home to see baby Grace - that's what the home named her since they felt it was Grace that saved her. He refused saying to get our hopes up with this child would be wrong just in case her parents were found. I argued that they didn't want her to begin with and God let me find her because she was supposed to be ours.
Then four months later on Valentine's Day my husband suprised me with Baby Grace as my gift.
Grace is now seven years old. She has been all I hoped for. One night while I was reading the adoption book the center gave us, Grace turned to me and said with her big blue eyes shining up at me, "I guess that's why God makes extras, Mommy."
I guess that's why He does, little Grace. That night when I found you, help was indeed on the way for both of us.
Note: Is fictional story is based on the remark Grace made about being an extra that originally came from my adopted cousin's mouth when she was small.
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