The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/02/06
This is a fine attempt to deal with a difficult subject. Is it personal?
03/03/06
This almost reads more like prose than poetry, have you considered putting in in paragraph form? Very heartbreaking and poignant, some excellent word choices.
I agree with Jan. This does read more like a story rather than a poem. If you wrote it out in paragraphs, you could expand it and tell us more of his story. You mention towards the end that he has found peace. How did he come to God? How did he start the drug habbit in the first place? Give us some more info and this would be a very interesting story. Great start here. :)
So sad! The pain that you wrote about was very clear.