The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I wonder if this was intended for last week's topic?

It's a sweet story, which makes me think that it would be better if told in story form. I'd like to get to know these characters better.
Regarding the rhyming...well, I was in the minority when it comes to the recent Poll about "Do poems need to rhyme?" - as most of my fellow writers voted "no". So, who am I to go against the majority - when here is one of those no rhythm type poems that my co-horts like. Thank you for sharing your "poetic words" with us and God BLess.
I thought your story was intriging, and I do call it a story because it seems so to me, how ever you put it on paper. I think though that in order for us to get to know your charactors a little better, and understand more of your tale--twould be best to add a tad more detail. God bless ya, littlelight