The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/02/17
Your story vividly portrayed the power of the tongue. In just a short story you were able to convey so much. Good job.

02/02/17
Permanent damage caused by a temporary situation, and it could have been avoided had the accusation not been hurled without grounds. A great example of an unbridled tongue. Thanks for sharing.
02/03/17
Good to see your dialogue and description. Thanks for taking the time to make this story feel like a situation we're all familiar with. Blessings.
02/03/17
I liked the authentic rural atmosphere of this piece.

There's a stray quotation mark at the very beginning that threw me for a moment. And I'm not sure that this captures the meaning of 'slip of the tongue,' which is a mistake in speech (like saying "pickled tink" when you meant to say "tickled pink," or saying "Happy Birthday" when you meant to say "Merry Christmas").

You gave us a great picture of these two women and their long-running feud, and I enjoyed this read (and the twist ending).
A fictional story that, alas, plays out in the real world too many times. Blessings!
02/07/17
These mishaps are way to often and harmful. We all can relate to the story. Thanks. It is hard to undo those uncalled for slips of the tongue. Blessings and encouragement to continue writing.
02/10/17
Congrats!
Blessings~
This story has a great foundation and some amazing potential. One thing that bothered me a bit is I never really knew who the narrator was. In my opinion, it might have made it easier to understand if the main players (including the narrator) were introduced right off. This is just a quick example to show how I might suggest editing it: Living in a small, homey town like New Holland, one might think all the residents have an idyllic life, full of beautiful gardens, nice neighbors, and the biggest garden competition this side of the Atlantic. But, anyone who thinks like that doesn't live smack in the middle between the Browns and the Olsons like I do. Each year for the past eleven years, I've found myself dreading the Annual Garden Show.

I took more liberties than I like when giving an example, but I wanted to show you how introducing the MCs along with the conflict right out of the gate can make a huge difference. Make sure you don't repeat too many things, add some dialog, thoughts, and body language and you can paint an astounding picture for the reader.

I enjoyed the storyline. I liked how you built the suspense, and your message about how gossip can destroy someone is perfect for today's world. I'm really impressed with your blooming skills too. Keep writing and reading and commenting on as many entries as possible and you will continue to blossom. Your passion is apparent and you really are making a difference.