Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
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TITLE: Bathtub Bubbles | Previous Challenge Entry
By Kari Franceschil
01/09/06 -
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Do you remember the old Calgon commercial, “the dog, the cat, the …..Calgon, take me away?” The woman would swoon and almost faint until we seen her smiling in a bath of bubbles. As a kid I thought that was so stupid but as an adult with a 4 year old daughter and a 41 year old husband who can’t decide if he’s going to be 10 or 21 for the day I’ve come to appreciate the bathtub. In fact, the more bubbles the better.
In the bathtub my skin is all tingly and I can temperately ignore the dry callous hands that have to be washed every five minutes to get some sort of grime off my daughter. I feel wide awake with energy seeping out of every bubble into my pores for the first time in twelve hours after being up most of the night due to my daughter deciding at 2:00 a.m. to crawl in my bed and do her tossing and turning gymnastics routine. In the bathtub I can relax and just soak, my hands laying idle in the water instead of holding my purse, keys, and daughters coat in one hand, her toys that can’t stay at the house alone in the other hand, as I scramble to get her off to pre-school and as the walkie-talkie springs to life and my husband’s voice comes to life. “Honey, are you there? I need you to do something.”
I can day dream in the bathtub and pretend that I’m perfect, that I haven’t a care in the world, and play the “someday” game. Someday I’ll have….or someday I’ll go to…..Hey, the pre-school games can get kind of old sometimes. After 32 years the abc’s and 123’s have kind of lost their appeal.
Although, I must admit, I didn’t know them in Spanish and it’s pretty sad when a four year old can put bi-lingual on her resume.
I can slip into the tub and feel warm and fuzzy after a conversation with my husband was anything but. I can think and have better reasoning and all thoughts of cheerfully choking my husband flee. My husband can’t understand how one person can take so many baths. I just laugh and tell him he inspires me.
I guess it’s safe to say that I’d be pretty lost without my tub. You know how the Bible says that He will provide a way of escape. Well I believe that’s why God had men invent bathtubs. He knew there would be people like me in this world who would need a little peace and quiet but would be too poor to afford a spa. I thank him for my little escape. And oh yeah, the bubbles have been known to inspire me to pray, and not just a “now I lay me down to soak,” prayer. There’s just something peaceful about a tub of bubbles.
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A good slice-of-life vignette!
Ditto the comments about spaces between paragraphs (one of the first things I was told!)
Ditto the check on grammar: "we see her", not "we seen her smiling in a bath"; "I can temperately ignore" should be "I can temporarily ignore".
I would also reread and see if some of the longest sentences can be divided into two or three. Some of them seemed a bit long, and some of them I would leave as is to convey the hectic pressures that drove you to the Calgon therapy to begin with.
My favorite line: "My husband can’t understand how one person can take so many baths. I just laugh and tell him he inspires me."
Keep writing! Bless you!