Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: FRESH START (01/05/17)
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TITLE: A New Beginning | Previous Challenge Entry
By D. Michael Newell
01/13/17 -
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After the Warden’s “Chance to start over talkâ€, I was give the name of my Parole Officer along with an appointment with him the next morning. I took a room in the “Yâ€. I needed a fresh start, but I know that most ex-cons wind-up back in prison before long. Not my first choice, but realistically that was what awaited me.
The next morning, I met with my Parole Officer. Not a bad guy. He seemed like he really wanted to help. He gave me the name of a garage owner, said he might have a job for me.
Seems strange to see about a job in a garage, when cars were what got me into trouble in the first place. But at least is was a place to start.
That afternoon I went to Pete’s Garage, looking for Peter Franklin, the owner. Pete was in his early fifties, with graying hair that was starting to disappear. He was friendly and gave me a job. He also told me that he and his family went to the church about a block from the “Y†where I was staying.
Pete and I got along just fine and he asked me to work a half day Saturday, as he wanted finish up a couple of jobs. After work on Saturday he took me to lunch. I was again invited to go to church with him on Sunday. Not having anything else to do and wanting to stay out of trouble, I agreed to meet him there the next morning.
As an ex-con I wasn’t sure about all this church stuff. I was pleasantly surprised by the friendly reception I received. Nobody asked about my past. They all seemed glad to have me there and invited me to come again.
The thing besides their friendliness that impressed me was their young Pastor. He preached with a passion. I was convicted as he challenged people to trust in Jesus. Most of what I heard was new to me as I had never been to church before.
The Pastor asked me if we could meet for coffee sometime soon. I told him as I was working it would have to be one evening. We agreed to meet on Tuesday at McDonalds.
Tuesday evening, we met and I learned a little more about the Pastor and his family. He already knew about my past and was not surprised that Pete had hired me. I was not the first one Pete had helped this way. There were two others in the church and a couple more that have moved out of state.
The pastor and I seemed to hit it off nicely. We were going to meet again. He also offered to help me find a place besides the “Y†where I could stay. Maybe I was not doomed to return to prison.
The Pastor kept his word and helped me find a place to live, where I was close to both the church and work.
A little later Pete helped me get a car. What a blessing it was to have wheels!
I needed the Lord in my life, and put my faith in Him one night when the Pastor and I were studying the Bible.
The next Sunday I shared with the church what God had done for me.
Now Pete and I meet once a week after work at his house. His wife, Martha, always prepares a great meal. We study the Bible together. I am learning much more about what it means to be a Christian. I have even started telling others about my new-found faith. I shared it with my Parole Officer. Every time we meet I try to say something to him so he to can come to know Jesus. The neat thing is, he doesn’t have an option. He must meet with me.
Our Pastor thinks that I should join a Prison Ministry Team, and help others have a fresh start with Jesus. So, I guess I will return to prison, but under different circumstances.
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If so, congratulations on the fire igniting within for the LORD. You are going to be such an inspiration for many, God will be using you for His glory...and helping so many in the process!
Thank you for your story, and may the LORD guide your steps in all that you do.
God bless you~
Nicely written piece.
You don't need to capitalize job names when they are used as a common noun. For ecample:I spoke to my parole officer and the pastor. But if a proper noun, then cap them: I saw Pastor Tim with Parole Officer Smith.
Be careful not to add details that might weigh the reader down. I don't really need to know they met on a specific day at McDonald's or what someone looks like. If you feel those details are important, show them: Instead of telling me Pete is friendly, show me. For example: Peter gripped my hand with his right and brought his left over to tap me on the forearm. I felt kindness flow right through his arm into mine. His eyes twinkled too. Lately when people met me, it felt like their eyes were boring into mine. Not Pete. Nope, he was different right from the get-go.
I took a lot of latitude with that example, but I wanted to show you what I meant by details that build the story or the characters versus details just to fill in the gaps.
You did a great job of building the story. I felt like I really wanted to keep reading and I knew who this character was. I liked the ending a lot. It shows how important prison ministry is. Congratulations on placing 4th in your level. It's been really great to read your work again. Happy Dance!
I enjoyed your laid back style of writing. The MC felt very natural.