The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 567 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
01/14/17
This is such a witness to the power of redemption in all aspects. It doesn't say this is a true story, but it certainly sounds like one.

If so, congratulations on the fire igniting within for the LORD. You are going to be such an inspiration for many, God will be using you for His glory...and helping so many in the process!

Thank you for your story, and may the LORD guide your steps in all that you do.

God bless you~
All the earmarks of a good story. It was easy to read and follow the thought. It flowed smoothly. Each scene was easy to imagine and the conversation seemed real.

Nicely written piece.
I think you did a great job with this topic. I liked the laid-back nuances of the character. It seemed to fit him well and made him real to me.

You don't need to capitalize job names when they are used as a common noun. For ecample:I spoke to my parole officer and the pastor. But if a proper noun, then cap them: I saw Pastor Tim with Parole Officer Smith.
Be careful not to add details that might weigh the reader down. I don't really need to know they met on a specific day at McDonald's or what someone looks like. If you feel those details are important, show them: Instead of telling me Pete is friendly, show me. For example: Peter gripped my hand with his right and brought his left over to tap me on the forearm. I felt kindness flow right through his arm into mine. His eyes twinkled too. Lately when people met me, it felt like their eyes were boring into mine. Not Pete. Nope, he was different right from the get-go.
I took a lot of latitude with that example, but I wanted to show you what I meant by details that build the story or the characters versus details just to fill in the gaps.

You did a great job of building the story. I felt like I really wanted to keep reading and I knew who this character was. I liked the ending a lot. It shows how important prison ministry is. Congratulations on placing 4th in your level. It's been really great to read your work again. Happy Dance!
01/22/17
Congratulations, D. Michael, on your highly commendable placing in the Beginners category this week.

I enjoyed your laid back style of writing. The MC felt very natural.