Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
TITLE: The Light In The Corner
By Vicki Chappelear
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As we unwrap our Christmas gifts and I look around at what’s left over, I’m overwhelmed at the amount of boxes I see. We have a lot of boxes because my four children requested this year that all their gifts be wrapped not put in easy to use bags topped with tissue paper! But I see more than just boxes.
I notice the items in the boxes are incapable of getting out on their own, they were placed there, taped shut and wrapped in colorful paper. There they stay until someone lets them out. I have often felt like these items, put in a box with the lid taped shut and no possible way to escape on my own. Unlike the presents, I am not wrapped for a special occasion, it becomes my reality.
There are many types of boxes. The hardest box to get out of is the one you are put in by loved ones. You know, the box they squeeze you into so you will become what they want you to be. Not realizing at first you are being boxed, you go along with it until one day you realize you are not you, you are what someone else wants or thinks you should be. There are a few reasons this may happen. You may not stand up for yourself, just going along with “the program” not to cause problems. Or perhaps, the person that is boxing you is over bearing, demanding that you do things their way. The worst box is the one we put ourselves in, when we feel inadequate, have failed or lack the will to try. Whatever the reason, the feeling in the box is the same.
Not long ago, I found myself in a box. I didn’t know I was being boxed. I became aware of my box when I woke up and realized that I was not me anymore, in fact, I wasn’t sure who I was. My box was deep, I had been stuffed in it for years, I don’t like conflict, so I am be easily boxed. So now that I know where I am , what can I do about it?
As I began to pray about the situation, I noticed something at the bottom of the box. In the corner there’s a small hole and light shining in. Pushing my finger through the hole, I want to see the source of the light. As the hole grows larger, the light becomes brighter, I bend to see where it is coming from. As I peak through the hole, I see Jesus holding the scissors to cut the tape off the box.
It’s a scary thought, getting out of the box, who am I now? It’s been so long. While uncomfortable, the box is really all I know, do I really want to leave? Can I stay? I must leave. If my reason for living is to serve God, I have no business being in a box someone else made! God is so much bigger than the box, He will give me strength to escape.
My heart is changing. It’s a hard and strange transformation, when I am expected to be one way and my heart, controlled by God, is leading me another. Not wanting to be disrespectful, I try to slowly show I am no longer under their control, that’s not always received well. I cannot give up . For the first time in years, I know what my purpose is, I know who I am. The privilege of serving God is overwhelming and too important for me to give up on, that’s all I want to do.
God has given me incredible strength, strength I never thought possible. When I realized it really is all about Him, I began to see things through His eyes. The hard part is showing others I have changed, especially when they have not. It’s frustrating at times, but I keep my eyes focused on Him. I’m so thankful He shows me each step I should take and that’s very comforting when everything else around me makes me question myself.
I have to say, I rather enjoy being out of my box. The air is much fresher and the sky is bluer than I ever remember. Or maybe, I appreciate it more now, having once lost it. I pray I never allow myself to be put in a box again. Thank you, God for cutting me loose!
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