The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/09/16
The intensity of Charles and Evelyn is a clear contrast with Adam's indifference. You've drawn your characters well, though you close with a long paragraph where Charles quotes Nehemiah 4. This might read better if you maintain the dialogue that gives your story so much strength.
Watch for mixed tenses and minor typos - "when we road/rode out..."
06/13/16
Great piece.

Even though this is fiction it is a reality for so many of us praying for our loved ones who either simply refuse the teachings of our Lord or being mis-led by false teachers using God's own word to confuse aand sadly blind them from the truth.

A suggestion, you might want to separate the last paragraph into smaller segments.

You started your piece in the garden, perhaps end your piece in the garden with the bluebird flying into the afternoon sky.

God bless and keep writing.
06/16/16
Congratulations, Christine, on placing highly commended in the Beginners category this week,

I believe you would have placed higher this week if your ending was stronger. I think the reader got lost in reading this long passage from Nehemiah.