Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: INSOUCIANT (06/02/16)
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TITLE: Concerned for the Unconcerned | Previous Challenge Entry
By Christine Hammock
06/08/16 -
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Charles and Evelyn relax in the wooden swing in their newly landscaped garden. Charles had red roses, blue hydrangea, purple butterfly bushes and yellow lilies planted—Evelyn’s favorites. She says flowers radiate the splendor of the Creator’s handiwork. As they rest in the Lord’s presence, with the Word in hand, they seek the Holy Spirit for guidance. This afternoon they’re concerned about Charles’s brother who is not a believer.
“Evelyn, today when Adam and I road out to see Mother at the farm, on our way back, I tried to discuss the Lord’s return with him. He told me not to quote the Bible to him; it was only a mystic book of clever stories. My hearts is very burdened for him.”
Evelyn spoke with concern, “His carefree impertinence defines his attitude; this isn’t something new.”
“Our parents brought us up in the fear of the Lord. We learned scripture verses as kids. That’s what troubles me; he knows about the prophecies in the Word. I couldn’t get him to respond seriously to my warning that Jesus will soon return for his followers. I truly believe we live in the last days. Adam shows no concern for his own life or his family. He’s utterly insouciant. His manner is so uncaring.”
“I know; Adam has a total disregard for spiritual matters. What caused his indifference; has he always been like this?”
“No, when we were in our early teens everyone thought he would be “the preacher,” not me. He quoted scripture with pride; but he never accepted Jesus as Savior.”
“His apathetic outlook is definitely perplexing?”
“He went away to the University and got mixed up with some eccentric professors. They taught the Bible was a great piece of ancient literature. But, heaven, hell, and Satan were just part of the plot that holds people’s interest in the famous book. He is taken with their teachings and will argue you down on the subject. To tell the truth, these philosophies allow him to live the worldly life-style he has become accustomed to.”
“It’s evident he’s caught up in false-teachings. In the Gospels Jesus warned believers that false messiahs and teachers would come and deceive many. It’s obvious; he has been thoroughly misled. When did all this begin?
“I was 20 and Adam was 18 when he went off to the University. He had become somewhat rebellious to our parent’s rules even then. He told me once, ‘I want to do my own thing; find the answer to my own life. We only live once. Making the choice to decide how I want to live is mine to make.’ At college the party spirit got ahold of him. He and his wife still live that kind of lifestyle today.”
Charles and Evelyn continue to relax in the garden where they meditate on God’s Word.
They’re confident their trust in God and prayer will make a change in Adams’s blasé attitude on spiritual matters. Surrounded with the red, purple, blue, and yellow flowers they rest in the love of God. They praise Him for the beauty all around them. A bluebird splashed in the water of the birdbath, looked up at them, and flew away.
As the bluebird flew into the azure afternoon sky, Evelyn smiled and exclaimed, “We’ll cast our burdens (concerns) on Jesus like He said in Matthew 11:28; they’ll all fly away like the little bird.”
“Evelyn, the Holy Spirit has plainly impressed me. It’s His responsibility to convince Adam about his relationship with God. My responsibility is to point him to Jesus whenever the opportunity arises. Adam knows what the Bible says about salvation and eternal life. We’ll live godly lives before him and let the Holy Spirit sway him. I like Nehemiah’s words in Nehemiah 4:14 (NLT), where he said, ‘I called together… the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of your enemy! (Your struggles, your burdens) Remember the Lord who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers…and your home.”’ That’s precisely what we’ll do. We’ll fight and seek the Lord in fervent prayer for Adam. We serve a great and awesome God. He loves Adam more than we can possibly imagine. His will for Adam is to believe and receive Jesus as Savior. I look forward to what God will do in his life. His smug indifferent attitude will give way to the Lord’s will for his life and he’ll receive Jesus as Savior soon.
Let’s pray.
Fiction
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Watch for mixed tenses and minor typos - "when we road/rode out..."
Even though this is fiction it is a reality for so many of us praying for our loved ones who either simply refuse the teachings of our Lord or being mis-led by false teachers using God's own word to confuse aand sadly blind them from the truth.
A suggestion, you might want to separate the last paragraph into smaller segments.
You started your piece in the garden, perhaps end your piece in the garden with the bluebird flying into the afternoon sky.
God bless and keep writing.
I believe you would have placed higher this week if your ending was stronger. I think the reader got lost in reading this long passage from Nehemiah.