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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: ZENITH (04/21/16)
Yah, But Where Is Abigael?

I thought I had reached the zenith of my life when I was a young mother. My daughter Abigael was happy, beautiful, and everything I had always wanted a child to be. I was working at a job I loved. I was organized at home for the first time in my life. I was healthy and fit. At that time I was truly content, happy and ready to face whatever life gave me. Or so I thought.
On February 14, 1999, my 15 month old daughter got sick. It was just the flu. I checked in on her a couple of times after I put her to bed. The third time I went in changed my life. My daughter had passed away. My world was gutted. The job I loved I grew to hate. My health slowly went downhill. And where there was organization slowly became six full grocery bags full of paperwork that I could not be bothered to sort through. If January was my zenith, February became my rock bottom.
When my husband and I reached the point where we could think about having another child, we did, before we chickened out. It was terrifying at times worrying about our newborn son. We were in love with him but we were really scared of losing him too.
Although I would have said I was Christian and prayed I am not sure how much I really believed. One night I went out for a walk, contemplating where my daughter was; was she a ghost wondering the earth, was she in heaven or worse. I remember praying and asking God if she was alright, wherever she was. I said how hard it was. I felt like God said he understood. Not being religious enough to know I should not talk back to God, my response was to say he could not understand since Jesus did not have any children, so how could he possibly know what it was like to lose a child. I was stopped in my tracks as I felt like he said firmly that in fact he did know what it was like, he had watched Jesus die for us, and he felt it every time one of us died rejecting him. I felt very chastised and comforted all at the same time. I continued my walk home, still asking the question, “Yah, but where is Abigael?”
That was a couple of days before Easter. At Easter dinner at my mom’s house, a couple of us where sitting at the table afterwards. My three year old niece, whose parents were atheists, asked if we knew Jesus. Someone said they did, meaning that they knew who she was talking about. My niece then said,
“Jesus is a generous giver, he made it so that Abigael could be alive again.” I was speechless; I had the very answer I was looking for just three days earlier and it could not have been clearer.
That was fifteen years ago. As I have watched my son grow up I marvel at how awesome he is and how blessed I am to have him in my life. I love having a relationship with God, since that Easter I continually walk with him. I still have hard days, days that I watch my son sleeping to see him breath, holding my own breath till I see his chest rise and fall with his next breath. I will never again consider a time in my life as having reached a zenith, at least not in my life on earth. Instead I look forward to the one true zenith that will matter, the one where I see my daughter again, where I wait for my loved ones to join me and where I will spend the rest of my days with the one who understands.
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This article has been read 416 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
04/28/16
Aww! This was touching and beautiful.

The ending tugged at my heart.

Blessings~
Karen Dick 
04/29/16
Touching story and inspirational. It would be very tough to lose a child.

It might help to add some white space between paragraphs, but good job.
Pat Small
05/02/16
Emotional story - both sad and encouraging. Do space out your story with paragraphing and white space.
Judy Sauer 
05/04/16
Wow! How devastating to lose a child. You will always have a little angel in heaven looking down on you with love.

Your story was well written. It grabbed my attention from the beginning, and it stayed until the end.
Nice job.
Bonnie Bowden 
05/04/16
I cried when I read about your daughter Abigael dying at 15 months old. When I babysat, I used to watch the rise and fall of the child's chest to make sure he or she was breathing' I was afraid of the baby dying of SIDS.

You have expressed a wide range of emotions, but need to do more showing and less telling:

I was working at a job I loved [What was it? Why did you love it?] I was organized for the first time in my life [What did that look like? For example: Every paper from my desk was filed in the correct folder.]

Awkward construction: When my husband and I reached the point when we could think about having another child, we did, before we chickened out.

Another example of showing being more effective than telling. We were in love with him. but we were really scared of losing him too.

I never took my eyes off of [son's name]; I wouldn't even let my mother hold him until he was two years old.

Where sitting [were sitting]

was she in heaven? [or worse] [There is nothing better than heaven, so I would delete]

three-year-old

If you double space between paragraphs, your story would be more readable.

Keep writing!
Lisa Enqvist
05/05/16
Beautiful story.