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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Trees (12/05/05)
JUST LIKE A TREE

I looked out the window; all I could see was sand, as far as my eyes could see. Sand all the way, that was my view from my window in Khartoum. I felt hot and depressed, seeing no tree in sight, so I closed my eyes and remembered the view from my window in my home-town, Lira. There, there were trees everywhere, making the landscape green in colour. I remember the mango tree, most homesteads had fruit trees, especially mango, orange and guava trees. When in season the tree branches were always bent down because of the weight of the fruits, how lovely the fruits looked on them, still green, ripening and changing colour. Then it hit me, I am just like a tree, a planting of the Lord, which can bear fruit in its season.
I then remembered the verse from Psalms; “And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in season, his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he shall doeth shall prosper” (Psalms 1:3 KJV)
My eyes still closed meditating on the word and I remembered that’s what is written in the verses before. If I could meditate on God’s word day and night and walk with obedience to God, I would be blessed everywhere I go, wherever. I opened my eyes…..the sand didn’t affect me now like before.
I decided I would go for a ride on the excursion boats on the Nile, to see the trees by the riverside. Still meditating, seeing the greenery of the riverbank, I realised we were passing the place where the Blue and the White Nile joined. I scooped the water from both sides, expecting them to be the same colours as they appeared on the riverbed, but they were colourless and yet, as they came from their individual tributaries, they looked blue and white. So what gave the water its colour must be what was underneath I decided. For a tree to bear good fruit, it must be rooted and watered. Therefore I knew, to have a beautiful colour that can be seen, to have leaves that don’t wither and fruits in season, I must be rooted in the word of God, and be blessed; bear fruit and be a blessing to others. I thank God for trees, not only do they give me oxygen I breathe in, but I know I can truly relate to them, for I too, am a planting of the Lord. The trees bow and sway every time the wind blows on them, gentle breezes and strong winds, I too would like to do the same, bow down in worship to God in all situations. I thank God for trees.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Garnet Miller 
12/13/05
Sounds like a wonderful devotional.

One thing: Be careful of run-on sentences. I noticed one in your first paragraph and your last. If you do not feel a period is warranted, try using semicolons to separate thoughts in the same sentence. :)

A space between paragraphs would help your readers to easily follow along with the story:)
Jan Ackerson
12/13/05
Your first paragraph contains several redundancies: if tightened up, it will "grab" your reader sooner.

I enjoyed reading about this unusual setting for "trees."
Karen Heslink
12/14/05
This writing really drew me in. I felt like I was there. A few minor grammatical errors, but all in all, a good piece of descriptive writing. I also saw the edge of a second piece when you began to write about the waters of the two Niles. You might want to consider expanding those two or three sentences into a secod part of the original piece.
Sandra Petersen
12/15/05
Your beginning paragraph sets us up for the coming comparison: from a treeless barren land to the intense greenery of the Nile riverbanks.
Interesting observation about the Blue and White Nile tributaries. I, too, think with development this section could be a devotion in its own right.
A good method of tackling runon sentences and also determining where to put punctuation is to read your piece aloud, noting where you paused. If you paused longer, you would want a period or semicolon; if your pause was shorter, a comma would do.
Ditto the comments on the technical side of things.
My favorite phrases: "I scooped the water from both sides, expecting them to be the same colours as they appeared on the riverbed, but they were colourless and yet, as they came from their individual tributaries, they looked blue and white. So what gave the water its colour must be what was underneath I decided." and "I too, am a planting of the Lord."