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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME (don’t write about the song) (06/04/15)
In 1990, when I was 41 and still hadn't come back to Jesus, I was living in Dagenham, London, teaching Science at one of the Comprehensives. I quite often went drinking with a few of the teachers from the school. One night I went to a mate’s local to celebrate his departure overseas on holiday. I was wearing an Akubra hat and Drizabone coat because it’d been spitting all day and it was blowing a gale.

After a good session at the pub I was walking back to the train when a car with 6 skinheads went by. I’d gone on about 50 yards when they pulled up in front of me, about 20 yards away. All 4 of the doors opened and two of the skins, on the closest side, got out. I braced myself and then pulled out my working knife – with a 7 inch blade, from working at a winery in France – opened it and stood there smiling at them. By this time they were all out of the car but they weren’t that much closer. I guessed they wanted to come in one mob so I just waited. I knew I was going to be hurt but so were most of them.

All of a sudden they changed their point of view – in several ways. I didn't realise it until quite a bit later but whatever they were looking at had to be about 12 foot tall – double my height. It took them about two seconds to get back into the car and away. When they started moving I had a look behind me but there was nothing there. I didn’t know what scared them at that stage – it certainly wasn’t me.

After I came back to Jesus in 2003 and heard some testimony of ministry in Papua/New Guinea I had a good idea what it was.

This was verified early last year when I was the Chaplain of a Forming Chapter of Bikers Against Child Abuse in Canberra, Australia.

About 4 years after coming back to Jesus, I joined God's Squad Christian Motorcycle Club to work with the Outlaw Motorcycle Clubs. I still knew the President of the only 1% MC in Canberra at that stage and the President of the BACA Forming Chapter and I were talking with him about BACA and our expectations of wearing colours. He said that their policy hadn't changed and no other MC would be wearing colours. This was followed with a totally unveiled threat.

The following morning God told me to "warn him of the angels". I rang the Outlaw, quoted God's message and waited to see if he wanted any explanation. He didn't ask me for any but I heard later that he spent some time trying to find out from others what the message meant. Shortly after that 2 other 1% MCs invaded Canberra, the President was booted and some clubhouses were taken over and a good number of members switched clubs.
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This article has been read 528 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
06/12/15
This testimony is moving, and very strongly on topic.

A suggestion: to make your entry stand out even more, avoid using the topic prompt for your title. A strong and original title will bring in more readers.

I think this would also be stronger if you just used the first incident, which is more compelling...your writing fizzles just a bit toward the end. Then, to draw your readers in, use more sensory details and some dialogue. You could describe what you heard the would-be attackers say, for example, and you could indicate your own internal thoughts. You could include more details about yourself and the other men, and your surroundings--in short, you could include many things that will give your reader a greater sense of being there with you. You told us about a moment that would have been filled with various emotions, but there's very little emotional content here.

The second incident, with the motorcycle club, needs more detail; I wasn't even sure exactly what was going on, even after a second read.

Your writing itself is quite good, as far as grammar, spelling, mechanics, and I see great potential here.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
06/15/15
Thank you for sharing your powerful testimony. We also have a Christian motorcycle club in our area which has reached out to unsaved people.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/16/15
This is an interesting story. You do a nice job of building the suspense. I suspect that this story is deeply etched in your mind. Sometimes, when telling true stories, it's easy to either add too many or not enough details. Because the author knows the story well, it can be easy to forget the reader doesn't know it and needs mental pictures to bring it to life. Little things like this will make a huge difference: All of a sudden, something changed. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. The people in the mob tilted their heads like they were looking at something that towered over me. They started poking each other in the ribs as a murmur rippled through the crowd.

That's not perfect, but I hope it shows what I mean by using little details like that to pull the reader in more.

I've no doubt God was there to protect you because he still had great plans for you. I also believe this story will impact people in ways you might never imagine. You did a nice job of portraying your message. Keep writing and also read as many of the challenges as possible. I believe God still has plans to use your gift in many wonderful ways.
Noel Mitaxa 
06/16/15
G'day.
Nice Aussie touch here.
You built the story well, but your ending seems a bit rushed mate; without fully explaining your bikie terminology. But overall (or leathers) well done.