Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS (don't write about the song) (05/14/15)
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TITLE: Move Past Forgiveness | Previous Challenge Entry
By Latorra Killebrew
05/21/15 -
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Somehow I was able to quickly come back to reality once I felt the presence of glaring eyes. There was times when it seemed as if the entire congregation was staring at me. Then you have that awkward moment when you begin to nod off and your head jerks so in return you jump, jump right out of the pew.
Somewhere along the way I got off the path. Not just slightly veering off to one direction or the next but completely uprooting and landing in a remote area. The essence of humanity was nonexistent. How is it that I could have so easily gotten tangled up and conformed to this wasteland and never really realizing it? Or, maybe I did realize it but pushed it off into another realm.
What I did not realize was that the battle had just begun. I don’t mean the type of battle including bow and arrows, guns and battleships, or whatever other weapon you can use to start a war. This battle was different. I soon realized that my battle was not with this world but instead with the cruel destructive forces that lived inside of me. Transgression, resentment, pride, death, bitterness, pain, lies, deceit, violence, anger, any and everything that could consume you and chain you to the pains of yesterday. My battle was within and my mind was overtaken.
I starred in the mirror for days but had no recollection of what was looking back at me. Maybe the truth is I never really knew what I was looking at. No words were spoken, not a sound was heard as I sat in the silence not to utter a word. I listened to my heart, my soul and my mind. I glanced in the eyes of the reflection in the mirror. The stories that they told, the memories locked within, a gentle wound that no hands could mend. The deepest feelings that consumed her.
I referred to the girl in the mirror as “her”. She wanted to get out. She wanted to free herself from entrapment but did not know how.
I picked up journaling as a child and that was the one thing that stayed with me. I had those occasions where I didn’t write for days, for weeks, but it still never left me. This was my escape, my way away from my reality. I began to fill the pages of the journal with the DNA of each tear. A representation of the beginning and the end. The pages quickly began to flood and could not be contained by a dam itself.
When lies became the truth and I died to myself I was able to breath. I stared at the blank words on the page that told my story. I began to crave but no longer did I want to feel. The ears that listened heard the silence while I spoke the words of a mute. Allowing myself to see through the eyes of the blind that which I did not know. Dust began to settle and the remaining’s revealed what time could not tell. There was no light at the end of the tunnel that pretended to offer hope. But how could it be that I felt the rain dry up all that was left. It washed away everything that was dying inside.
It was at the moment when the journal reached its full capacity that I realized what needed to be done to release “her”, the girl in the mirror. I was taught this one of the many nights I slept in the pews while attending church as a child. How could I have forgotten?
Forgive, so that your heavenly father can forgive you. Forgiveness sets you free. From that point on I was able to move one. The scars that remain remind me that I overcame.
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I noticed in the second paragraph that you switched from the first person to the universal you. Remember to stay consistent. Using the first person pulled me into the story and I could easily relate to the MC.
I also noticed in one paragraph you used the word battle three or four times. By using synonyms or restructuring the sentences, you can avoid repeating words like that.
I totally emphasized with her in the mirror. I could relate and think many people will understand that lost feeling. Your message is a great one and a well-timed reminder.