Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS (don't write about the song) (05/14/15)
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TITLE: Daily, I Press On | Previous Challenge Entry
By Richard Hicks
05/20/15 -
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Peggy is a woman whom I met at my clinic’s mental health group. She seemed as if she had it altogether when I first met her two years ago. Poor Peggy, she could not snap out of her depression even with the help of medication. Going to group was a big task for her; she often felt paralyzed by this fear, yet being home alone while her husband was at work was a greater fear so that is often when she would venture out to group.
Streams of tears flowed down Peggy’s frail face as she spoke, “Why can’t I shake off this darkness in my mind?”
Some of the ladies hugged her as others in the circle began relating their own stories. When we offered Peggy this encouragement her countenance changed before our eyes as she was finally able to express the haunting thoughts within her mind, as she also shared with us.
Whether we realize it or not we are in a war against the forces of darkness which are disguised as our own thoughts; they will attempt to filter into our minds, if we allow them to. God wants us to go forward as soldiers of the light with the mind of Christ. He delights in our tenacity to fight the ‘impossible things,’ as we lean on Him. This is accomplished by taking ‘baby steps’ in Jesus Name!
A few months ago I was in the same situation as Peggy; all I could see was complete darkness. I had given up on hope and allowed my paranoia to make up whole scenarios that had no likelihood of happening, however, fear snowballs and can surround one in its cocoon. This could have been lethal to my well-being, and yet these fears are very real and need to be dealt with, but in a gentle way. I was not thinking clearly and needed help desperately, but like so many other times in my life there was only One who really understood. I had to make the decision to go forward with God no matter what. I held onto God’s hand as tightly as I could in this dark place even when I did not sense His hand of grace, although it was there… I stand here today because of God’s grace and the decision I made to receive it.
While it’s important to take any medication the doctor prescribes when medication is involved in someone’s treatment plan there is only so much it can do. I do take medication daily and have found out the hard way that I cannot live without it, however, I still need to come against the negative thoughts that assault my mind daily.
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your heart on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:1-3, NKJV)
There is no reason to be afraid or intimated by the devil’s schemes—advance onward and upward, dear Christian.
“Dear Jesus, I lift up all those who may have been knocked down by depression. I pray that You would enable us to climb out of the darkness and into Your marvelous light. Help us to rise up with Your mighty armor which You have equipped us with so that we can move forward by Your power. In Your blessed name we pray, Amen.”
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I noticed a few things, if tweaked, could elevate your piece even more. In the beginning, you make a common mistake of using the combination of one and their. It should be Until one experiences it within his or her own mind... he or she cannot... (or you could make them all plural: Until people experience it within their minds...)
also noticed that in the next paragraph you start with a long passive sentence. Just by switching it around, you can get a shorter active one. For example: I met Peggy at my clinic’s mental health group.
I think you did a great job of nailing the topic. This is an excellent example of writing on topic without using the topic words. I've suffered from chronic pain and depression. The meds made the depression worse because it was before they realized a side effect of it is suicidal ideations. I commend you for sharing what many would consider a difficult subject. I also liked how you ended with a heartfelt prayer.
Overall it's a nice piece, well thought out, and with a message that fits the theme very well.