Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: LUST (all-consuming desire; excessive craving) (01/08/15)
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TITLE: Let Down the Guard | Previous Challenge Entry
By Debra Byrd
01/14/15 -
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After many days of silence between us, I could no longer explain how loud its annoying presence had eased its way into our home. While sitting alone on our plush, leather couch with the crystal frame nestled in my hand. My swollen eyes were fixed on the family portrait we took at the lake two weeks prior. I couldn’t help but notice how happy the twins were. Their long brown hair lay perfectly on their shoulders. Their blue, satin ribbons speckled with tiny yellow polka dots brought out the sparkle in their glowing, brown eyes. They looked so peaceful sitting beside Jason. My shoulder pressing against his reminded me how comfortable I was around him that day. I was blessed to be his wife. He was my rock.
Now, I cannot quite find a word to describe him. I never thought hearing this “I’m sorry, Babe” would hurt so much. Those words rolled off my back when he forgot to take out the trash. In one ear and out the other they went when he forgot our 10th anniversary. “Men do that, right? It was bound to happen. He doesn’t have to be so perfect,” I convinced myself. I cut him so much slack that day because I remembered all the flowers and special effort he made to express his love for me the previous nine years. There was very little in this marriage that I didn’t already have. Jason was my everything.
Time perfectly knit us together, and I was sure nothing could come between us. We conquered the broke years by sweating it out to make ends meet. We treaded our way through being novice parents, and celebrated each milestone with Jenny and Lillie like old pros. We were present for each other at all times. He and I knew what each other needed without second guessing ourselves. Yet, for some reason, all the hard work and effort must not have been enough to keep him close. Looking back, I don’t know what I could have done differently.
Maybe I should have listened more attentively to his boring architect ideas for the 150th building he ever designed. He was right I had changed over the years. I didn’t care what color tie went with his shirt. “Any color tie goes with a white shirt. You always wear a white shirt. You don’t need me for that” must have irritated him over time. In my eyes, he was handsome no matter what he wore.
Still, a shrug on the shoulder and choosing the pin-striped black tie over the solid black tie was not enough to sacrifice such a wonderful marriage. I must of have done something terribly wrong. The more I sat looking at our family portrait and locking into his dreamy eyes, the more I realized “life happened to us.” I refuse to beat myself over the head with “I should have done this, or I should have done that.” I have to accept the hand dealt to me. I’m on the brink of being immersed into single parenthood. He let his guard done.
Now, I must let mine down. His infidelity is the piercing dagger that has shred my heart to pieces. I could check the adultery box and rightfully walk away with the girls kicking and screaming. Checking “irreconcilable differences,” however, would spare anyone in our families who had time to snoop the groovy details. Although either box will do and is justly fitting, I choose to handle him differently.
As I sat on our favorite couch cleaning the crystal frame with my fallen, I accepted I was at a crossroad. The decree stunningly reminded me his heart had been broken somewhere on our journey. I had to go back and help him find it. I checked “In Repair,” the box not provided...for better and for worse.
Fiction.
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Good job.
God bless~