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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Vines (11/21/05)
From the beginning of time
man plucked from the vine.
With the olive, he made oils,
the grape he made wine.
And God has said that women shall be
for the man his fruit bearing tree.

Then Christ created a new sweet wine,
plucked from the earliest of the vines.
But taste He would not till He drinks anew
in Gods heaven with me and you.

So do not drink till you be filled with wine,
that which is plucked from the vine.
But do be filled with the Holy Spirit
so that you shall not forget.
That Christ is the true vine and
God is the vinedresser.

And whom-ever does not bear fruit for Christ,
that vine shall be removed.
And the vine that bears the sweetest of fruit,
By God he shall be pruned.

So be the sweetest fruit on the vine,
and always abide with Christ.
For He did say;
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.”
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This article has been read 959 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Anita Neuman
11/29/05
This is a great start, but you wavered between rhythm & rhyme and free verse. It would have better flow if you chose one style or the other. But be encouraged - there's a lot of potential there!
Mtheto Hara
11/29/05
I think it's a lovely piece that sends a clear and commendable message.Be blessed as you keep on writing.
Nina Phillips
11/30/05
I agree good start, with good expression. Changing in mid-stream it seemed a struggle to express your message clearly. Maybe that's just me. Enjoyable reading though. God bless ya, littlelight
Janice Stotz
12/02/05
I saw a purposeful pattern. I'm not an expert on poetry, but I thought it was good. Keep at it! God Bless.
Sandra Petersen
12/03/05
This was so beautifully worded. Stanza 1 with the thought of the olive (oil for anointing), the grape (wine), and the woman (to bear children). Stanza 2 had a little rhythm awkwardness, but a great thought, that Jesus will taste of the wine when we all meet Him in heaven. Stanza 4 gave me shivers from the thought of removal from the vine for barrenness to the vine bearing the sweetest fruit needing to be pruned to produce better. An excellent poem with an important message.