Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Vines (11/21/05)
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TITLE: Peru | Previous Challenge Entry
By Joe Braun
11/21/05 -
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The following days included us preaching The Word too many of the local persons, and we started building a church which we hoped would be used long after we returned to the States. One night I was sitting alone by the fire, reading my Bible and enjoying the quiet of God’s wonderful Earth, when something startled me. I rose to my feet to make a quick circle around the perimeter, when something caught my eye. There was a small child maybe four or five standing at the edge of the forest. The poor boy was dirty, bruised, and looked like he needed help. As I approached the youth, I tried to remember my Spanish from high school.
“Hola,” I said as I slowly crept toward the toddler, not wanting to startle the boy. I had come within ten feet of him when he suddenly turned and darted into the jungle. Remembering what the locals told us about the perils of the wooded area, I felt I needed to chase after the child, he needed not to be in there. Hurriedly, I followed him, not knowing what to expect to see. It was very dark in the trees, but the moon shot just enough light through the brush that I did not injure myself on this trek. Dashing and darting between the trunks of this enormous vegetation, I could barely keep up with the child. Suddenly I lost sight of him so I paused to gain my bearings. As I did, several vines wrapped themselves around my shoulders, hoisting me from the comfort of the ground. Not believing the plants lifted me off the solid earth where I just stood, I wiped my eyes to make sure I was awake. Seeing now that I was, I did the most rational thing I could think of, I screamed for help. Just then, the boy reappeared, holding something in his left hand. It looked like an apple, or fruit of some kind, and he approached me with it.
“Eat of this fruit and you will be set free, if not you will perish here like so many others,” the creepy little child said through a small grin. As I yelled louder, the boy drew closer.
“Denounce your God and eat of the fruit, it is the only way to survive!” He exclaimed and almost shoved the apple in my mouth. I clamped my lips shut as hard as possible and began to pray to myself. Asking god to give me the strength to resist this temptation, as surely it was the work of the devil. I closed my eyes just as the young boy was pressing the fruit to my lips, trying to force it past my final defense, my wall of pearly whites known usually as teeth, now having to be as solid as the strongest structure so as not to let this evil in. Feeling my strength slowly seeping from my body, the thought of dying in this place started to overcome me, when a sound over my shoulder revived my will. It was the local minister, who had warned me in the first place about wandering off. He was wielding a machete and had started to cut me free. As I dropped to the ground, I kissed it, and than sung praises to God for the rest of my trip.
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There are a few small things I'd change. Such as the phrase about praying to yourself. Perhaps, I said I silent prayer, or mumbled unheard words. Rather than I prayed to myself, as it gives the impression that you actually were praying to yourself as the diety, not God.
Good job on this piece!