Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Dead End (02/06/14)
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TITLE: Don't Settle for a Dead End- Just Make a U-Turn | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Sampson
02/12/14 -
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Patrick just closed his eyes and hung his head as he set before his family’s’ Pastor. He didn’t want to come here, this wasn’t what he needed, but he promised his parents’ that he would.
“Patrick, your nineteen year old, am I correct?” Pastor Mike asked.
Patrick nodded yes. “I just turned nineteen.”
“Are you planning on attending a college?”
“No, I’m not good at that stuff, I barely passed High school.”
“What do you feel God wants for you?”
“I don’t know. I never asked. I never really cared. I can handle my life.” He told his Pastor.
“Did you just hear yourself, Patrick, how stern you were? You could do it all.”
Patrick looked at him. “I can.” He snapped back.
“You say that, but have you done a great job of your life? You just told me how messed up it is, a dead in job, and life you said. You lay claim to the fact that you handled this all and it came out a big mess.”
Pastor Mike pushed a chair up next to Patrick as he continued. “Patrick, have you given your heart to the Lord? Anytime during your life?”
He glared at Pastor Mike. “Never felt the need, mom and dad think I have. It was a way to keep them off my back.” He snickered at his words. ‘It worked too.”
“Do you believe in God?”
“I guess so. But I’m not sure about all the other stuff you need to do.”
Pastor Mike proceeded to tell him about salvation, how it worked and why he wasn’t getting the whole picture of whom, and why and how the spiritual world worked: and the job of the Holy Spirit in dealing in lives.
He told him the story of his own salvation and how he had also ran from it, and what his life was like before surrendering his own heart.
“Talk about dead ends. I tried everything, found myself in the valley and the gutter many times. But it was that last time I cried out to God. I told him I had had enough. I needed Him. At the ripe age of thirty-five, I finally knew the truth, the way, and who brings you that peace that surpasses all understanding. Without it I wouldn’t be here now.”
Patrick looked a little pale, but in awe of what was just said. It made sense after all this time, and he wanted it too. Now!
“Help me Pastor; I want to surrender all to Him. What do I need to do?”
“Patrick, let me read Romans 10-9, 10. If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. With the heart one believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth one confesses, resulting in Salvation.
“There are many verses in the Bible that tells you about salvation, you can also find it in John 3-16, do you know this?”
Patrick nodded and smiled freely for the first time. “I’m ready.” He whispered as he kneeled and bowed his heart and mind to the Lord.
Some twenty minutes later, Patrick got up wiping the tears of joy from his face. He hugged Pastor Mike, and as he let go he told the man of God that he was indeed saved and the horrible burdens he had carried were gone.
“I know now I am not alone and the decisions I make now will include God in my plans.
Pastor Mike shook his hand, “Patrick there is one more verse for today, you will find it in Romans 8-28, It states-We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”
“A good place to start gathering strength and encouragement would be found in the Bible, and eh, maybe in Sunday morning Worship?” Patrick added as he smiled at the Pastor. “I can’t wait to tell my folks. Thanks, Pastor Mike, see you Sunday.” Patrick walked to the door and leap down the steps, as he let out a Yah-hoo and a thank you Jesus.
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God bless~
There are some little things that need tweaking. One example would be pastor by itself shouldn't be capitalized, when you use it as a name then it should. It's the same way with Mom and Dad. If you put an article in front like my or the, it's lowercase. Ex: My pastor saw Mom and Dad.
The technical stuff will come the more you read and write. Finding a good proofreader would help too. You do have a nice way of developing the characters. I could feel the turmoil and confusion in your MC. The emotions practically jumped off the page and that's always a good thing. Keep writing because I'm excited to read more.