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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Beautiful (11/07/05)
I saw a beautiful newborn babe,
as in his mothers arms he laid.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I walked through a field of wild flowers,
in beautiful colors that danced for hours.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I watched as parents with their son did play,
and heard the beautiful prayer that they did pray.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I watched as a flock of geese,
beautifully rose high in the east.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I saw a beautiful child held close to his father’s chest,
and unafraid closed his eyes to rest.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I saw a mustang, wild in his herd,
and on the wind their speed I heard.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I watched as a grandparent cuddled a crying child,
I felt the love, compassion and the hidden smiles.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I felt the mist from the oceans breeze,
I turned to face and whispered,
“you are beautiful to me.”
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
And with the night comes a beautiful sight,
of little eyes as sleep they fight.
And God showed me a glimpse of Heaven.
I watch the stars as they shine so bright,
and the moon as it casts it beautiful light.
And God showed me a beautiful glimpse of Heaven.


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This article has been read 994 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Julianne Jones
11/17/05
And God has used your poem to show others a glimpse of Heaven! This was well done. It took me a few lines to find the rhythm, but then I was hooked. Great work!
Anita Neuman
11/17/05
I love how you used the little snippets of everyday life to point us towards heaven. I would suggest putting an extra space between each little picture for ease of readability. Great job!
Garnet Miller 
11/18/05
I agree with Anita- a space or two would make for easier reading and ease of rhythm. But, all that aside, I appreciate this poem. It reminded me of the beauty that is around us everyday if we just open our eyes and allow God to show it to us. I watched the red, orange, and yellow leaves falling off the trees yesterday and was amazed by the beauty of God's creation. I didn't want to go inside! Thanks for sharing:)
dub W
11/19/05
Stanzas are like paragraphs. This poem had need of breaks. The beat was not always consistant, but the message and comparative thoughts were clear. With a little work this piece would do well.
Linda Watson Owen
11/20/05
What a beautiful concept to build a poem on! Very good idea...glimpses of Heaven.
Val Clark
11/20/05
I'm with Karen: 'So often we miss the touch and effect of Heaven in our daily lives.' Thanks for reminding us to look and see heaven in the everyday.
Debbie OConnor
11/21/05
This is great. The pictures you painted are lovely...beautiful. I like it so much that I'm going to suggest a couple of little things. There is a stanza toward the end where you break form describing the ocean. It disrupted your lovely rhythm. Also in the very last line when you say God showed you a beautiful glimpse of Heaven, I think it would be better if you left the word beautiful out. It is clearly beautiful! :)