Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Whine (05/23/13)
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TITLE: The Clearing | Previous Challenge Entry
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05/27/13 -
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How could the men from a tree -trimming company make such a dent in the yard.. and in the heart of this dear woman? Why did the thinning of those trees (and actual removal of some of them) make such an intense impact on her soul?
For some reason it did.
Those trees had been in the yard for almost thirty years. There were lots of memories attached to them. The trees in her yard had felt the tickle of little children's hands and feet as they attempted to climb. The full tall trees shaded her house on hot summer days. Those same trees housed busy squirrels and fluttering birds. Occasionally, those trees had even accommodated a beehive or two.
But over the past two days, those trees represented her soul and the strong memories attached to it.
A clearing was taking place. It was a painful process. The refining of those trees involved taking out the scrappy branches and lopping off limbs which were heavy and a threat to the roof of the house. The work had to be done.
Those workmen were doing their job, but they had no emotional attachment to the trees in her yard. They had never even seen those trees until now. But she had watched the trees grow over the years. They were a welcomed sight every time that she walked in the yard. And now, her spirit felt the full impact of the thinning. Her soul winced and whined with every action of the chainsaw. Her heart hurt.
The tree-men were pleased with their work and every once-in-a-while would proudly ask, "Well, how do you like it?" They were happy about the results, but not she. There was too much light shining through the coiffed trees. There were gaping holes now were once branches were thick and leafy.
In the areas of the yard where an entire tree had been taken out, there was unanticipated emptiness. What would adequately fill those holes?
And yet, the comment that really pierced her soul and caused her to stop pining over the lost limbs was what the tree-man said so matter-of-factly, "When we thin out the branches, then the wind can move through more easily."
It was then that she began to allow this process of "clearing" to hush the whining. It was a turning point guided by the hand of God, himself: if she allowed the Holy Spirit to refine her soul, clear some branches and take away the scrappy stuff in her life, the wind of the Spirit could also blow through her soul more easily. He would fill the empty spaces. The Heavenly Sunlight could then shine more brightly into the crowded places of the heart and cast a heavenly glow into her life.
As the whining of the chainsaws stopped so would the whining in her heart. She had the courage to be quiet and see the beauty in the clearing.
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Lovely! God bless~
I did notice you used the word tree quite a bit, and think you'd be surprised If you counted it. Since there aren't a lot of synonyms, you could switch up the sentence structure to avoid the repetition with something like this:
For almost thirty years, those trees stood in the yard feeling the tickle of little children's hands and feet as they attempted to climb. The full, tall ones shaded her on hot summer days while housing busy squirrels and fluttering birds.
Though it may not be perfect, I hope it gives you an idea of what I mean.
There is so much depth to this well-written piece. You have a knack for reaching through the page and grabbing my heart with your words. I think you did a grand job of writing on topic. Not only did you show it in the voice of the MC, but also in the chainsaw. Your message is brilliant and will touch different people in different ways. When that happens you can be sure the Holy Spirit is involved. Keep writing what he places on your heart!