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Topic: Rattled (05/09/13)
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TITLE: My Grace is Sufficient | Previous Challenge Entry
By Janelle Goodwin
05/16/13 -
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“Oh no!”, Diane cried out as she looked in her review mirror just in time to see a car heading too fast to stop before running into the back of her van. Diane didn’t even have enough time to warn her small children that they were getting ready to be hit. BAM! The van shook and a black whirl went by them on the left and stopped suddenly as it hit another car head on in the oncoming traffic. Diane quickly checked on her children, they were frightened but uninjured. She explained to them that she needs to check the status of the other two vehicles that were involved in the accident. They were both alive, but very critically injured. Authorities and EMS were on their way and as Diane settled back in her vehicle it began to rain. On instinct she picked up her cell phone to call her mother to tell her the tragic news of what just happened, but unfortunately she was unable to speak with her mother because just two days earlier Diane’s mother had passed away suddenly. “Really God?” Diane cried out as she was overwhelmed and rattled with emotion!
Even though God tells us that He will never put on us more than we can bear, life throws at us too much that we begin to wonder if that part of scripture is true. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul asks God to please remove the thorn from his flesh, but then God speaks to him to tell him “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” What a true statement. God deserve all credit and all glory as He is the one that has the power to bring us through all the difficult trials of life. Life is hard, but God is good!
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Nicely done. God bless~
If you could add some dialog and do more showing and less telling it would make your story even more powerful. For example this line: Diane quickly checked on her children, they were frightened but uninjured.
is telling but change it just a bit and you can have more showing: Diana twisted around and touched her children's arms and legs. Relief washed over her when she realized they were safe. "Stay here while Mommy checks on the people in the other car."
Adding the dialog helps the reader picture things. You could even have the kids answer her back. Don't be afraid to use all 750 words. You told a great story and I did want to read more which is always a good sign.
My heart thumped when I read the line about wanting to pick up the phone and call Mom. My mom has been gone for 20 years and I still find myself wanting to do that and remember that horrible grieving period right after she died when it did feel like God didn't quite know what he was doing because I didn't think I could handle the pain. But like you showed so well in the end, He does get it and is always there for us. This is a beautiful reminder of God's love for us and how he does truly know that we can handle things that we don't think we can. He never leaves us alone.