The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved this heart warming story. I smiled at the names of the hamsters! I couldn't even pronounce them at a young age, let alone remember them! LOL.

What a lovely memory.

Thanks for sharing.

GOd Bless~
This is a sweet story. I really enjoyed this little jaunt into the past with your MC.

The judges score from 0 to 5 on eight different criteria.I think in this piece the one that will score lower is the on on topic. Though you mentioned a game near the end, had I not known the topic I would have guessed the topic was traditions.

However, don't let that worry you because you still have 7 more. The first paragraph told a lot of back story. For a story this short you want to start right off with an attention grabber. Your second paragraph did just that. Your transitions were smooth and easy to follow. You also did a nice job with the crafting sections producing a well-written story. The only thing I noticed in the crafting criteria is make sure to start a new paragraph each time someone different speaks-even if it's just one or two words. Your ending was perfect and wrapped everything up for the next generation. I believe that your family will pull this story out year after year and will be touched by your lovely words. It was a delight to read this and I feel honored to be let into a precious memory in your mind. These words will not only touch your family but people you may never meet. Good job.
Obviously a beautiful memory. Thank you for sharing it with us.
What a wonderful memory! Thanks for sharing it with us.

Looking at it as a "contest entry," I agree with Shann. The back-story is not really necessary. Starting off with the action is almost always the way to go.

Loved the story, though! :-)