Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Cup - 10-25-12 Deadline (10/18/12)
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TITLE: Cherished Memories | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Sampson
10/22/12 -
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“No I didn’t Lynette; I’ll look in the pantry.” Lionel left the room shaking his head over this matter.
It was actually her mother’s cup before she died. She left it to her with a lot of cherished memories. It had been her grandmother’s cup also. What could have happened to it?
“Lynette, it is not in the pantry, or in the closet, anywhere else you want me to check?”
Lionel was her brother and had come over to help her search.
“I’d better call Grace, she’ll know.” Her fingers hit the buttons on the phone as she spoke.
“Grace, hi there, I have a question of you my dear, what in the world did I do with my mother’s cup?”
“Why Lynette, I have no idea. You always place it on the shelf in your hutch. In fact you hardly move it from there. Did you put it on your everyday shelf of mugs?” “I don’t know where else you would have it Lynette.” Grace was also baffled by the news.
“That’s the million dollar question, Grace; I’ve got to go, more searching to do, thanks anyways.”
“Lynette, I’ve got to go to work, but I’ll call you later.” Lionel turned to put his cap on before he left.
That afternoon, Lynette’s nerves was getting the best of her, she stopped pacing and just started praying, “Oh Jesus, I don’t usually take little matters to You, but I need your help, I’ve lost a most cherished cup please help me find it, dear Lord, Amen.”
Feeling better, Lynette called her daughter, Kim. After the conversation with Kim, she knew that she hadn’t any idea either.
Heading back into the kitchen she heard a knock at her back door.
“Who could that be?” Lynette opened the door. There stood Pastor Reynolds.
“Hello, Lynette, good to find you home, Can I come in?” He looked a little surprised at her not asking him in, she was staring at the object in his hands, it was her mother’s cup!
“Oh my where is my manners, come in come in, Pastor. Where did you find my mother’s cup? I have been looking for it for days.”
“Lynette, I know it’s yours, when I was here the other day, you told me to go help myself to a cup of coffee and I did. I reached for a cup from the hutch and poured me some coffee. ‘That’s when you received a telephone call, and you said you might be awhile, so I excused myself, coffee and all and went home.”
“I knew that I would bring the cup back, but I got called out of town and just returned. Today, I had a nagging feeling about bringing this cup back to you, immediately!” He laughed. “It was like it came from God Himself!”
“Oh, Pastor, let me explain to you about all of this,” Lynette went into the story of the last few days, as she finished, a sly smile came to her lips, It wasn’t urgent but I told the Lord I needed His help.”
“My dear Lynette, this is an amazing, sweet story, on what He does for us.” He patted her shoulder.
“Pastor Reynolds, thank you. Sometimes we need to see His hand at work. I truly did.”
The next day Lynette was in the kitchen putting the dishes away, she placed her cherished mug back in its place.
It even had more meaning now to her. For when she looked at it, she remembered the gift that the Lord gave her; He showed her He loved her so much. He helped her in her time of need. In small things and big things, there was nothing He couldn’t do, or wouldn’t do when one of his children ask Him.
*******
I know that in my own life, I’ve gone to Him in a few little things, but I found Him in the big ones too, with the loss of our son, my husband major illnesses, and my chronic illnesses I can say with assurance, He was always there, and amongst them all because we asked and He cared for us, if you are not in God’s family nor given your heart to Jesus, you are missing what life is all about, The love of Christ surpasses all understanding.
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I noticed a few tiny typos and some sentences I stumbled over. One example is this: Peeking from behind the pile of dish cloths sitting on top of the counter, Lynette asked.
You have the order backward. If using a tagline the Lynette asked should be closest to the query. However, you could switch it just a bit and get rid of the tagline altogether by doing something like this:
Lynette peeked from behind a pile of dishcloths. That paints a picture for the reader and lets them know who is speaking. If you wanted to show her mental state you could add something like Tears filled her eyes or She crinkled her eyebrows as she peeked behind a stack of dishtowels.
I really enjoyed how you built the suspense and had the MC call friends and then cry out to God. I have no doubt that God uses such things as lessons for our lives. I also liked the obedience of the pastor once God started tugging at him to follow through. This is a delightful message and a pleasure to read.