The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 949 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Nice Job makes want some stew.
08/04/12
I really enjoyed your story; it had a surprise ending to it which I really like. I think you should probably use more punctuation as you seem to have several running sentences in this entry. Other than that, I absolutely loved this story. It had a few twists and turns and then the surprising ending. Good job!
08/05/12
This was an imaginative and completely enjoyable story on so many levels.

Good message and loved the ending! THanks. God bless~
This is a charming little story. I liked how you built up the conflict and suspense as the clock ticked away. It's funny how little things like that can be so important to us.

One thing you may want to do to make your story even better is work on more showing than telling. Take this sentence:
All the stew was tasted and the judges huddled together to talk over the findings.
Just by changing it a tad, you can paint a picture for the reader like this: The judges tasted each dish, smacked their lips and huddled together to hash out a winner.
It's not much of a change but hopefully it shows the difference from a passive sentence to an active one. Another way to show is instead of taglines like he said, use this spot to give the reader a peek into the emotions of the MC. For example instead of "The winner is Frank," he said. You could say after the quote He rubbed his stomach and looked Frank directly in the eyes. It tells the person who is talking and paints a picture.

You did a great job of writing on topic in a fresh and fun way. You had a nice strong beginning and added to the story making me eager to keep reading. Your transitions were smooth. The ending was great! Instead of the more common idea of having the MC be the winner, you added a fun twist that was quite appealing. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
08/09/12
CONGRATS!!!!

God bless~