The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Wow! You kept me on the edge of my seat! My heart stopped beating! and the end was one of those "Thank God" moments!

Great story..and you told it well!
Ooh, what a suspense story! I love how you wrapped it up at the end.
You surprised me with your ending. I was sensing more humor in the beginning. I would have loved if you had expanded on this piece. Try using all 750 words to show your reader why Tommy was hurting so that he thought murder was the answer. I do love your message of answering God's call. Sometimes it can be quite scary but He is always there for us.
I enjoyed your entry very much. When you are speaking for the MC, you might consider putting what he/she is saying in italics. To me, it would be easier to read. One of the things I noticed is that when you are referring to "into," you are writing it "in to," and I think the prior is correct. Please check before taking my word, though. Also, I was struck when you said "calmness began to fltter;" to me, calmness would not "flitter" so in my opinion, I would have used another word to describe my calmness because to "flitter" seems too active to describe the calmness you felt. If you understand that last sentence I wrote, you're a better person than me. Seriously, I truly enjoyed your entry. Keep up the good work!