The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/12
What a beautiful sweet story. This entry was interlaced with thought provoking messages, and great faith filled with optimisim! I loved it. Nicely done. God Bless you~
I enjoyed this story. You did a nice job of staying on topic.

You had a few minor technical errors. Make sure you check the rules for punctuation within quotes. Also start a new paragraph each time a new person is speaking, even if it is just one word or so.

I can feel your passion as you tell your story. The ending was good. You didn't need the last line though because you already showed the reader that your dream came too. Keep writing and reading as much as you can. Nice job.
02/08/12
Hooray for the MC that she gets to stay home. Sweet story! God bless!
Congratulations for tying for 6th place in level 1!