The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/02/11
What a great story! I can just picture all the light going up from the guitar strings and how it touched the woman. A real winner in my book.
I really enjoyed this. You covered the topic in a fresh way. The beginning was really good and I was eager to keep reading.

You may want to use less tag lines like said or asked. Instead use that space to develop your characters. For example instead of she said use something like The blood rushed to Anne's face. It lets the reader know that Anne is speaking and that she is blushing.

It is wonderful how you showed the way one can hear God's voice. I believe he does speak to us.

I liked the ending but think it would have been even stronger if you left the last sentence off. You already did an excellent job showing the reader that souls were saved, you don't need to tell them.

This is a lovely, well-written piece.
12/02/11
I loved the imagery of the strings of light shooting up from the guitar, like rays of hope, and glory, uploading its way toward heaven.
12/15/11
Congratulations on your second place win!
12/16/11
Congratulations on your win. God Bless~
12/28/11
You handled a very 'human' situation in a sensitive way; well done. Congratulations on your win!