The Official Writing Challenge
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Oh, you had me at the beginning.... Didn't realize it was just a game until you revealed it! Nice twist.

I had a bit of trouble following this, but it may just be me. I think for me, at least, it was the present tense. I think this would have worked better in past tense.

I loved your line about the cannon and the thimble pieces. :) Good job.
I was really hooked in the beginning then I found myself having to reread quite a bit to understand.

You seemed to jump from the game to the TV to Bible verses. I think the word count limieted your bridges so the reader can follow easier. Also try usingf less tags like replied, said etc. and use descriptions instead. Paint me a picture with your words.Instead of Norman informs unkindly show me what that would look like for example a sneer spreads slowly over Norman's lips.

You did a great job with the dialog and I can tell you are working on the show vs. tell dilemma. Keep up the good work. You have some great stories and messages inside you bubbling to get out!
This was a clever story,I truly didn't know what was going on for quite some time. Masterful job in tricking the readers. Nice job...God Bless~
Well done! I liked the use of your Monopoly game to show comparisons to truths and characters of humans and how Satan comes to fool us and destroy us. Good messages here-a little confusing but maybe that was just me. Nice job. Comical yet honest piece.